Page 173 of Colliding with Ten

I grinned. “I’m going back to school next fall. I applied to Columbia. I’ve got a good chance to get in.”

He turned to me. He didn’t look angry or hurt, or have that weird look he got when he tried to cover his emotions. He just looked proud. My brother was proud of me, and even with all the devastation between us, that made me love him more.

“That’s good, Ayla. But why aren’t you going back to USC? Finish your degree there.”

“Because you’re here. And the fellowship is here.”

“I’ll always be here, no matter where you go. You can get a fellowship anywhere, especially in California. You loved USC, and you love the weather. I’m not saying you need to get back with Lennox. But if you’re half in love with him as I suspect he is with you, I’d consider it.”

I stared at him. I couldn’t fathom the absurdity of my brother encouraging me to consider a future with Lennox. After Mom died, AJ had appointed himself the person who fussed and worried about me, but now he was letting me go.

“You really mean that?”

AJ nodded. “I do.”

I tilted my head back, searching the sky.

AJ followed, searching the sky too. “What are you looking for?”

I looked back at him. “Just checking to see if pigs are flying.”

He looked back at me, shook his head, and chuckled. “For what it’s worth . . . Lennox looked like shit in that press conference.”

“Really?”

“The man was miserable, and he didn’t look any better when he visited. What did you do to him?”

“I haven’t seen him.”

“I think he really cares for you, Ayla.”

“I care about him, too.”

I leaned my head against his shoulder, enjoying his company again. It felt like old times.

“We made the playoffs, didn’t we?”

He exhaled through his nose in an almost-chuckle. “If we win Sunday, we clinch.”

“And then?”

He looked at me. The competitor in him surfaced. “And then we keep winning. Until there’s nobody left to beat.”

“Oh my God, that’s so exciting. You might get a championship ring in your rookie season.”

I squealed, laughed, and nudged him to be as excited as I was. But AJ, being AJ, nodded and smiled.

“Yeah, sis.”

We looked at each other, and somewhere beneath the hurt and the healing, I felt solid ground again that I hadn’t felt in weeks.

But neither of us said this: if the Hawks kept winning, and the Stallions kept winning, the road to the championship ran through each other. My brother would be on one sideline and the man I loved on the other. And me, standing in the middle of it, wearing the wrong uniform for somebody, no matter what.

41

THE GOLDEN TICKET

LENNOX