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He nods before continuing and I can’t hear anything apart from murmurs.

“Okay, listen up, we're conducting a random drug testing. I need you all to step down and line up in a single file…” his words drown out and all I can feel is the fear creeping up on me.

No, no, no.

This can’t be happening right now.

“…This procedure is perfectly legal and is in line with the academy's rules and regulations which would've been explained to you before you submitted your application,”

I pick up my bag and place it over my shoulder, following the other students down towards the stage. Panic is creeping in as my mind starts building one scenario after another. In every version, they find out and decide I’m not worth being here.

I can’t afford to fail. I can’t mess this up.

Come on Mireya, think.

I follow behind the students and wait in line. “13-9-18-5-25-1,” I whisper, over and over again, gripping both my hands and placing them over my mouth.

It’ll be okay

It’ll be okay

It’ll be okay

I say the numbers in my head as I get closer to the testing officer.

“Name?” The woman at the small table asks and for some reason I freeze.

“I—” she looks up at me and frowns slightly. “It’s Mi—,” I’m cut off as Damien steps beside her, interrupting. “Mireya Vitelli,” he tells the woman and she nods, writes my name and hands the cup over to me.

I frown as Damien pulls me over to the side, “what the hell?” I ask him suddenly.

“What’s wrong with you today? Is it because of the exercise?”

“No. Ther⁠—”

He cuts me off before continuing. “You’re cracking your fingers, you’re agitated and you couldn’t even give your name” He pauses, “so I’ll ask you again, what is wrong with you,”

Lie Mireya, just lie.

“Nothing…I’m fine,” I say, keeping my voice neutral. “I wasn’t expecting to do this today,”

He nods slightly unconvinced and gestures with his head at the ladies restroom. “You know what to do,” he whispers and I nod before heading into the bathroom.

My heartbeat pounds in my ears as I lock the stall. I place the lid of the toilet seat down and sit on it, holding my head in my hands. The numbers are still in my head as I unscrew the lid of the orange tube. I stare at it and after a few moments, I manage to finish. The lid is back onto the cup quickly as I place it inside the white collection bag.

I unlock the door and wash my hands. My eyes drift to the mirror. Bloodshot eyes, dark circles and an empty expression that makes it difficult to recognize it as mine.

If death had a look, It’d look like this.

I wipe the water over my face, squeezing my cheeks to get some blood in them, then suck in a breath. The bag is soon in the officer’s hands and I rush towards the exit.

A shudder runs through me as I make my way toward the dorm, keeping out of sight the other students waiting in the hallway.

“Reya?”

Hayzel.

I turn back toward her and smile. Her brow furrows as she frowns at me. “Are you okay?”