Page 24 of Feel Me

“I’m not sure. I average once or twice every couple of weeks. Is that often?” I respond.

“I’m not sure about most people, but it is for me. I usually just make something at the house. It’s hard for me to be around people. When I woke up in the hospital, I had horrible burns and scars on my face. Being around others was hard. They’d stare, point, and whisper about me. I don’t care how hard I tried, I never got used to it.”

“Oh no, Lake. I’m so sorry. If it helps, I don’t see a lot of scarring on you. You’re kind of hot, so if anyone stares at you, it’s because of how good you look.”

“You think I look good?” he asks, and it’d take an idiot not to hear the surprise in his voice.

Heat rises in my face. In my haste to reassure him that no one was looking at him because of his injuries, I didn’t think about how it might sound. I’m an idiot. “I uh …”

“Yeah?” he prompts, and I can tell he’s fighting a smile.

“Okay, stop,” I laugh. “You’re picking on me now. You know you’re hot. I mean, for an older guy.”

“Older guy? Ouch!”

I giggle until I snort because I can’t catch my breath. This makes something happen hasn’t before. Lake laughs with me. It’s not a small sound either. It’s full of joy and for some reason—one I don’t want to decipher—it makes me happy.

“Aren’t older men the in thing these days?” I quip.

“I have no idea, but since I don’t really know how old I am, I’m going to say I’m thirty.”

I look at him and smile. “Then, I’m going to say I’m nineteen.”

“With that cute little pixie face you could pass for nineteen.” I scrunch my nose up. “What?” he asks, watching me closely.

“No girl wants a guy to say she’s cute and pixie faced. What does that even mean? Girls want to be gorgeous, beautiful. A face that launches a thousand ships has more power than oh look at that pixie face,” I explain, like I know what I’m talking about. Mostly, I just want to keep the smile on his face. I know today was super hard for him. I saw the way he tightened up the minute we walked into the hospital for an MRI. I didn’t go into the doctor’s office with him. I sat outside in the lobby. He didn’t tell me what was said, and I didn’t ask. Still, I’m not sure it was good news because he came out very solemn. I wanted to ask, but I didn’t figure it was my place. We’re friends, and very new at being that.

“I never understood that saying, a face that launched a thousand ships.”

“It’s referring to Helen of Troy and how beautiful she was,” I lamely explain. Before I can talk about the war, his next words stop me completely.

“It could be saying she’s so ugly that the ships all set sail to get away from her.” I open my mouth, but snap it shut. “Besides, Tinkerbell was a pixie, right? She’s sexy as hell, much better than Wendy.”

He’s grinning at me, and I join in, just shaking my head. “I may never look at the movie Peter Pan the same.”

“Just know I think you’re beautiful,” he adds in, and the words make me feel flushed all over my body, and then reality sets in and I go cold.

“Do you know what you’re having?” I ask quietly, changing the subject while staring down at my menu.

“Hey,” he said. “Don’t do that.”

“Do what?” I ask, looking up, but refusing to look into his eyes.

“Shut down. I didn’t mean to scare you, Livy.”

I finally force myself to look at him, confused. “You didn’t scare me. I just know that I’m not beautiful. I might have been passable once, but that was a very long time ago. Besides, it’s not important. Anything built on beauty doesn’t last. Life changes us all and eventually we get old.”

“You really don’t see how special you are, do you?”

“I’m not special,” I deny at once. “I’m just me. How about we figure out what we’re going to order?”

“You’re special to me and so many around you, Livy. Don’t sell yourself short.”

“What’s your favorite meal here?” I ask Lake, hoping he lets it drop.

“I’m thinking beef stew. It’s fall, which means it’s time for comfort food. You?”

“That sounds good,” I admit, and mean it. That’s one of my favorite meals in the cooler parts of the year. The diner here makes everything from scratch, too. It’s one of the few places you can get real home cooking.