Page 23 of Feel Me

I hold my head down, feeling like a dick, but pushing through. “It’s not important. I’ll talk to you later, Livy.”

I turn to walk away, praying she calls my bluff. I’ve watched Olivia enough that I know she can’t stand to believe someone is upset. I’m banking on that to help me here.

“Lake, stop,” she says, reaching out to grab my arm, keeping me from leaving. “What were you going to ask me?”

“It’s nothing. Silly, really. You don’t need to worry about it. I don’t want to bother you.” God, I’m an asshole.

“Lake,” she urges. “Tell me.”

I give her what I hope is a sad smile and not one that tells her I’m a lying asshole who is shamelessly trying to play to her sympathy. “I’ve been having some issues with headaches and being overly tired. I was going to go to the doctor today. Going back there always brings back bad memories. I wanted to ask if you would join me and maybe have lunch at the diner. It was silly. I’ll be okay by myself. Don’t worry about it. You enjoy your day with your friends. I can handle this alone. I do it a lot.”

Will she get how I’m pushing her to her friends and downplaying what I am? One look at her face tells me she has. I feel horrible, but if I can get her to soften toward me, let me in and give me a real chance, I can make it up to her. I just need her to let her guard down and give me a real chance. When I look into her beautiful green eyes, I stumble a bit with my plan. There’s still time to stop this. Can I really do this? I don’t know Olivia’s story, but I’m more than aware she’s been through a lot of pain. Manipulating her feels so wrong, but if I don’t do something, she’s never going to let me in.

“I’ll go with you,” she says hurriedly.

Joy, panic, and guilt hit me square in the face. “Seriously, you don’t have to, Livy.”

“No, I want to. I do have my therapy session though. That will be an hour. You may not want to wait on me …”

“I’d love to take you. Then, after I can go for my MRI and then dinner if you’re okay with that,” I say at once, not letting the guilt I’m feeling keep me from having time with her.

“Are you sure?” she asks, and I can tell she’s afraid of putting me out. Olivia has no idea that at this point I’d walk over hot coals just for the chance to get a little closer to her. There’s something about her that makes me feel alive—as opposed to the numb I’ve felt since waking up in the hospital.

“Positive,” I say at once, not giving her time to back out. “Are you ready to go now?”

“I was going to go to the house and freshen up first. I cleaned some today and I feel a little icky,” she says, blushing.

I’m not sure why, but Olivia looks even more beautiful with her cheeks blooming pink. “I parked in the campground lot so I could ride the UTV with Colt to check out the fences. I can drive you to your house and we can leave from there,” I suggest. I hold my breath, waiting to see if she panics at the thought of me taking her to her house. I think I forget to breathe.

When she agrees, I inhale and try my best to relax at last. “Sounds good.” I put my hand on the small of her back and lead her to my beat-up old Ford. I never had a reason to before, but maybe I should get a better vehicle if Olivia is going to be riding with me …

16

IT’S NOT A DATE—IS IT?

OLIVIA

“You’re quiet,” I say quietly as we pull into the diner.

“Sorry. I don’t think I realized it would be this hard to have another scan. I guess I thought those days were behind me. I mean, I think I’m fine, but having the scan made me worry I’m not. I don’t like the panic I feel at the thought of things being out of my control,” Lake explains.

I don’t even think. I reach out and cap my hand over his. “You’re not panicking. You are remembering and pushing through it,” I counter, giving him the words that my therapist uses to reassure me.

He gives me a sad smile. “I’ll be okay, Livy. Don’t worry about me,” he says, as we get out of the truck. He laughs as I meet him at the front of the vehicle. “Woman, you’re supposed to wait for me to open your door,” he chastises.

I giggle and roll my eyes at him. “You’re being silly.”

“You need to learn the kind of man I am, Livy,” he responds. A sudden chill runs down my spine. It’s so odd, but I can remember Bear saying that over and over. The kind of man I am. It’s something common. I’m sure thousands of people say it often. Lake’s voice is hoarse and deeper than Bear’s, but the surety of it brings memories I’ve missed so much.

“What’s that look for?” he asks, as we walk into the diner.

“Just something you said tugged at an old memory,” I respond honestly as we walk to a booth by the window.

“I hope it was a good one,” he says quietly as we sit down.

“It was,” I assure him. After a couple of minutes, a waitress comes by and takes our drink order and hands us a couple of menus.

“Do you eat here often?” Lake asks.