Page 95 of Raging Fires

So it was scary—was that a reason not to call? She was sick of constantly worrying about the past and the future. She’d spent her whole life doing what was ‘safe.’ Being mature. Kelli had done that since she was a kid—when her mom should’ve been the one worrying about bills and stocking the fridge. Why not do what she wanted to do instead of what she should do? Choose her heart over her head. Just this once. She could always go back to being logical and risk-averse if it all blew up in her face.

Her thumb hovered over the call button as the seconds ticked by.

Then, with a little sigh, she set her phone back down on the table. That was the thing about old habits… they were really hard to break.

Chapter Forty

Jake looked at his phone in disgust. No calls. Well, none he wanted. He’d wanted to call Kelli yesterday right after the game, like he used to. But it had taken him years to get over that habit, and it would be stupid to get back into it now.

What was he going to say to her anyway? “Did you see how great I was?” She probably hadn’t even watched the game. He’d decided to send a message instead and spent several minutes trying to hit exactly the right tone and words—not too loving, not angry, not self-pitying, not begging. But then he’d deleted it. Writing wasn’t his thing.

Kinda like being miserable wasn’t his thing. But here he was. He hadn’t joined any of the other guys in any of the post-game get-togethers, even Gramps’ apparently legendary Mario Kart and gumbo fest. He wasn’t brooding like Asa accused him of doing. He was just… being mature and getting a good night’s sleep. The argument would have been more persuasive if he’d actually gone to bed instead of babysitting his phone and flipping through channels.

Christ. How long was this being mature thing going to take before it made him feel better?

There wasn’t anything to do but slog through it: work out, practice, run wind sprints, spend hours wrinkling in the hot tub and getting the knots in his muscles smoothed out in massage. He tried not to think about the coming weekend, when they’d be back in Phoenix for the next exhibition game. He resolutely shoved it out of his mind every time he wondered whether Kelli would be at the game with the other wives.

Thursday was the worst day of practice. Jake couldn’t stop thinking about seeing Kelli again, and his throwing suffered. But at least he wasn’t the only one. The whole quarterback and receiver positions made so many errors they had to run wind sprints after practice.

When Jake finished his runs, he bent over in the end zone, sucking in air and hoping he wasn’t going to throw up. Neil Moran finished just behind him and flopped down on the turf, arms spread. “I think I’m going to die,” Neil said between gasps.

“Nah, you already did, and this is hell,” Jake responded and sat down. His legs were wobbly, and he wasn’t sure he could make his way back to his room. In fact, he might just spend the night out here. On the upside, at least the pain distracted him from the big hole in his chest for a few minutes.

“I’m getting too old for this,” Moran went on.

“That’s what you say every training camp,” Kowalski told him, coming up and looming over them. “You guys are wusses. You should try running gassers with 80 more pounds on you.”

“Easy for you to say,” Neil shot back. “The line didn’t have to run them.”

“Yeah, well, we didn’t screw up as much as you guys,” Kowalski replied with a notable lack of sympathy. He sat down with them while they watched the receivers thunder up and down the field.

Jalyn Williams drifted over, and when the receivers stopped running, Asa collapsed on the other side of Neil. Pete Cherneski strolled up. “I see the senior citizens club is having a meeting.”

“Hey,” Jake protested. “Asa and I are the same age as you, Cherneski.”

Asa, still gasping for air, contented himself with a raised middle finger at the linebacker.

“Watch it, Jackson,” Cherneski said. “Or you won’t get invited to the engagement party.”

His words were met with a moment of silence, then Gramps said, “Okay. I’ll bite. What engagement party?”

“Claire’s and mine. We’re getting married.”

“Are you serious?” Jalyn turned to look at him, and Jake rose up on his elbows.

“Yeah. What? I can’t get engaged?” Pete said.

“Claire’s a brave woman,” Jalyn commented.

“Or crazy.”

“I’m pretty sure she’s both.” Neil laughed. “But in a good way, as Stephanie always likes to add.”

“Okay, okay… none of you are getting invitations,” Pete declared.

“We’re all just joking,” Neil said. “Congratulations, Pete.”

The others all chimed in with a chorus of congratulations.