Page 24 of Inked in Devotion

“Let me guess, it soothed your ego.”

Ivan glared at me. “Is that what Kirill told you?”

“No. Just a guess. I don’t want to repeat your mistakes.” I was tired of the cigar and stubbed it out with my boot.

“You’re not giving up parental rights, are you?”

“Chloe’s experience with us isn’t the best. I told her I would never marry. I don’t know what damage you’ve done to her and her mother when you cut off all contact, but it appeared to shape her animosity toward me playing a part in our son’s life.”

Ivan shrugged, and his shoulders drooped. “I never even considered a parallel.”

“I didn’t consider it either.” Anguish claimed Chloe’s face when Maksim mentioned Ivan. His abandonment damaged Chloe somehow, but how could I reassure her I wouldn’t disappear from our son’s life?

Sure, my job had more risks. “Fuck.”

Ivan observed the burning tip of his cigar. “Maybe you do have to think it through. How present you’ll be in your son’s life. Set expectations you won’t be a regular father.”

“She’s signing a covenant with Margo Winthrop.”

“Oof. Do you know what’s in it?”

“No. But Maksim is trying to get our hacker to break in and grab that contract.”

“I don’t understand why you can’t marry Chloe.”

“Marriage was never in the cards for a Petrov.” We were meant to procreate and create soldiers.

“Kolya…” Ivan’s voice was so rife with sympathy, unease stretched my skin taut. “Don’t tell me you still blame your parents’ death on your existence. They loved you.”

And they died together, leaving their three-year-old son behind.

“Some factions considered their relationship an insult.”

“Are you talking about the Vozhokari? You’re part of the Zahkarov organization. You don’t answer to them, and if they have a problem, we’ll back you up.”

The Vozhokari was an ancient order of assassins. Normally, other organizations didn’t interfere with their hits unless there was a conflict of interest. There had been a conflict of interest; that was why we paid them off.

Not everyone recognized the reparation.

“Besides, Kirill has done wonders for the bratva, shoring up our power. Have you thought about leading the Petrov house and assuming the brigadier duties?”

“I like to work alone.”

Ivan nodded. Wilson started yelling to be set free, reminding me of my duties.

“I don’t know what advice I can give you,” Ivan said. “Only that…learn from my mistakes.”

I gave a brief, mocking snort of laughter. “And that is?”

“Be sure. Be careful with Chloe. Don’t string her along like I did her mother.”

“Thanks, Ivan,” I said dryly. “For setting a precedent.”

“I want to see her. And your son.”

“Why haven’t you reached out?”

“I don’t know…I guess…it’s complicated if I initiate. If you’re the one to bring her around, then it would be more natural and wouldn’t hurt…Irina and Aralina.”