Page 30 of Highland Prince of Darkness

He slowly turned around and May quickly dipped out of view by moving deeper into her chambers. She smiled to herself at the thought of him catching her looking, it would at least be a sign to him that she did still care about him and wanted things to work between them.

She wondered what he was thinking about out there and why it was that he wasn’t able to sleep most nights. May assumed that it was much the same reason as why she wasn’t sleeping either; Iain was always on her mind.

She knew that she couldn’t just ask him since that would be admitting that she had been watching him from her window. But part of her felt as though he already knew that she did that.

Her mind wandered to the times when she had walked those gardens in the peak of summer with Iain at her side. She had held on to his arm and smiled as they walked and spoke of a future that would never materialize. May had thought at the time that it would have been the best case scenario if they had ended up living the life that they had once planned. She couldn’t help but scoff as she thought about how different things had turned out instead. Going back, she wanted to tell her younger self and warn her about the way that her story would unfold, but she didn’t think that her younger self would even believe the story.

It was so far from what she had wanted, so far from living a utopia that would have been the best for them both. May managed a weak smile as she looked at herself in the mirror and let her shoulders sag slightly. Only two candles lit the entirety of the chambers, and so the shadows stretched deeply into corners of the rooms.

“Ye’re still not asleep, my lady?” Sarah’s voice caused May to jump slightly as she looked over at her trusted servant. Sarah was hovering in the doorway and appeared to be in two minds about entering the room.

“Please, come in,” May nodded to her and watched as her maid obliged, “Nae, I have been having some trouble getting to sleep.”

Sarah stepped into the room and passed by her mistress as she walked over to the window and glanced down for a moment. A small smile graced her lips as she nodded and turned back to May.

“I see, and it wouldnae have anything to dae with the fact that master Iain is in the gardens at this late hour?”

May could only smile as she looked down at her clasped hands in front of her stomach. She knew that her servant had caught onto the way that May would watch him, but May hadn’t hoped it was that obvious.

“Well, I’m sure that has something to dae with it.”

“Are ye nervous about the wedding still?”

“Aye, I’m scared that we’re not going to get along like we used to and that I’m going to be even more unhappy than if I was marrying a complete stranger. There’s just so much history there that it makes it hard to actually start again and learn to love this new Iain... or Diabhal... or whatever he wants us to call him.”

Sarah nodded and listened intently to her mistress. She was a trusted and valued member of May’s household, and she always enjoyed her opinions on situations like that. Were she to confide in some of the younger serving girls, May knew that her private matters would be spread through the kitchens in hushed whispers and giggles. Sarah wasn’t the kind of person to do that, and May felt very lucky to have such a friend that worked for her.

“I think it will just take time. He’s going to need time to heal after everything that happened, but I ken that he should nae be taking it out on ye too much.”

May bit her lip as she walked over to the window once more. His back was to the castle and he was looking out at the darkened landscape that stretched out for miles in every other direction. It was difficult to see where the woodlands stopped and the clouded skies started in the darkness, making the world beyond the town appear as though it was just one large mass of obsidian.

“I suppose that he will soften to me eventually. I feel so guilty when I think about leaving him, and he keeps reminding me of it every time that we speak.”

May knew that the key was going to be time, but she didn’t want to wait. Especially when she had been so close to him over the past few days, and especially since the incident of the kiss. She decided to leave out that detail with Sarah, she didn’t feel that it was necessary for her friend to know of the exact intricacies in their testing relationship.

“Well, I’m sure that things may be different after yer wedding night?” Sarah suggested with a knowing smile.

May could feel the heat growing in her cheeks as she looked away from the dark figure that smoked alone in the garden. She had stopped herself from thinking about the obligation that she was going to have to fulfill in only a few days. It would be the chance that she had been waiting for to finally touch him properly and feel him in the way that they had done all those years ago.

She couldn’t deny the rush of excitement that ran through her body, right down to her core. May sighed and tried to shake off the thoughts of his hands roaming freely around her body. It was so enticing to think about and so riveting to think that it was only a couple of days from becoming a reality.

“I’m worried that he will not be gentle or kind. I’m scared that after all this time he’ll just see it as another part of the job of marrying an advantageous lady.”

“I’m sure that he will not be as harsh as ye say. After all, there is an element of muscle memory that I’m sure he’ll rely on.”

May chuckled at her servant’s words as Sarah sent her a devilish wink. She shook her head and tried not to think about the fact that Sarah knew of May’s past with Iain in quite a lot of detail. May remembered the many nights after Iain had left when she had cried until the sun came up, she’d been drunk on her sadness and only managed to bear it by sharing some of her favorite memories with her maid.

Sarah had always listened diligently, but in hindsight, May wondered if she had crossed a line in saying too much. She wasn’t about to make the same mistake again, and so she quickly steered the subject away from her wedding night.

“Ach, well I’m actually starting to get a wee bit tired now,” May said while stretching and moving away from her window.

“Would ye like anything before bed, my lady?” Sarah asked, as she kept her head bowed while May passed her.

“Nae thank ye, Sarah, that will be all.”

“Of course, I wish that ye have a good sleep, my lady.”

May nodded and watched as her maid left the room. As soon as the door closed with a light click, May returned to her previous position at the window, but Iain was no longer standing out in the gardens.