Page 35 of How to Woo a Highlander

“If ye would dae anythin’ for me, Miss Baxendale, then it shouldnae be too much to ask ye to stay away from me. Forever,” he said, hurrying off before she could respond, or he could change his mind.

Chapter Sixteen

Jane had never felt such pain and loss as she felt at that moment. Her legs felt like they would give way at any moment, and she would fall to the floor. Alastair was angrier than she had imagined he would be. The tears continued to fall down her face as she leaned against the wall for support. He wanted her to leave him alone, but that was the one thing that she could not do.

Every part of her wanted him back. She hadn’t even been aware that she wanted him so badly. Now that the worst had happened, her feelings were clearer than ever. Every fiber of her wanted to be with him, and she was hopelessly in love.

She had been enamored with him from the beginning. From the moment she set eyes on him, he had never left her mind, even when they were at odds with each other. At what point had her interest turned into love? As she got to know him, she had only become more interested.

They had spent so much time together; it was inevitable. He was a gorgeous man, and his character was even greater than his looks. Would things have been different if William had put in the effort with her? Right from the beginning, she had been more interested in Alastair than William, even when she did not know who he was. She would have been more impressed by William if she had not met Alastair first.

Alastair was like the sun, and everything and everyone paled in comparison, including her father’s expectations. She had been ecstatic when he finally showed her that he felt the same; she could not lose him now. She needed to find her father and do what she had planned to do before he suddenly came to the castle.

She took the stairs quickly, returning to William’s study and throwing open the doors, only to find that her father had already left. William was at his desk, rubbing his forehead as though he had a headache. He looked more tired than usual, and she understood; her father could be very exhausting. He looked up when she entered and dropped his hand, sitting properly in his seat.

“Ah Jane, are ye lookin’ for yer faither? He just left; I think he was heading to yer chambers.” She nodded and was about to leave when she paused, considering. She had planned to tell him of her choice not to marry, so would it not be best to do it now? Seeing her pause, he angled his head in question.

“Did ye want to talk to me?”

She nodded slowly, deciding that he deserved to know. He was the one betrothed to her.

“William…” she began. “I think that you are an amazing and beautiful man, but… I don’t love you.”

He continued to look at her curiously, without emotion.

“I want to marry a man that I love… and since I don’t love you, I don’t want to marry you,” she finally confessed. William only nodded sadly.

“I understand, Jane. I wish I could give you what you want,” he said. She stood at his door for a moment, not sure if he truly understood. Did he mean that he wished he could let her out of the engagement or that he wanted to give her love?

“I am in love with someone else!” she repeated, wanting to be as clear as possible.

“I understand,” William said again, although she doubted that he did. He definitely could not understand that she was in love with his best friend.

She decided that it did not matter. She had already told him what she wanted to say, and if she could convince her father, it would be settled. She gave a polite nod before leaving the room and shutting the door behind her, and set off to find her father.

She found him talking with Mary outside her room door. He turned and gave her a puzzled expression as she approached.

“Jane? Are those tear streaks on your face? Were you crying? What happened? I thought you would be in your chambers?” he asked, concerned.

Not responding, she pushed open her room door and pulled him in after her before finally speaking.

“Father, is there any way for this wedding to be canceled? I do not want to marry William,” she confessed bluntly. Her father looked at her in surprise, and Mary, who had entered the room after them, sighed sadly.

“What are you talking about, Jane? We have already been over this before. Why would you even be considering such nonsense?” John Baxendale asked, obviously annoyed.

“I have already told William that I do not want to marry him,” she added defiantly.

“What did you say?” her father shouted, his face reddening with rage.

“I told him that I don’t love him, and so I will not marry him because I want to marry the man I love!”

Incensed her father paced the length of the room.

“Love? Did you spew such nonsense to the Laird? Is that why your engagement has not been announced? Because he was giving you time to decide that you loved him? Have you been the reason for all of the time wasted?” he demanded.

Jane closed her eyes to quiet her frustrations. Her father always jumped to conclusions so quickly.

“No, the reason why the engagement was not announced was because of the war that might happen soon. I only told William of my wish not to marry him right now before I came here,” she corrected. Her father finally stopped pacing and looked at her as if she had grown another head.