Page 135 of Carson

A few minutes later, it’s still going.

Cole waves me away. “Okay. Okay. I get it. Let’s fucking play ball.”

So we do, and even though my brother and I suck, I’ve never had so much fun.

After a while, my sister and Khloe join us. The guys lift the girls high in the air, letting them make all the baskets.

It’s the cutest thing in the world.

Later in the evening, Dan and my brother grill for everyone and we sit out back on the patio. The girls and the twins are playing hide and seek out in the sunflowers while Lily and I work on a bottle of wine.

“I’ve had the best time the past few days,” she tells me while also signing it. The words she doesn’t know she spells out, and that is perfectly fine. She’s picking it up quickly. It helps when everyone around her is also using it regularly now. Cole still struggles, but as soon as I’m home, I’ll get to work on it with him.

The thought makes me choke on my wine.

I cough and Lily leans over to pat me on the back. “I’m okay. It just went down the wrong pipe.”

“You were thinking about something.”

“Yeah.” I pick at my nails because I’m finding fewer and fewer reasons to stay. I mean, I’ll always love it here, but the cabin, the stream, my rocks, they’re all calling out to me. “I’d been giving Cole private lessons, but I’ve been neglecting him. He’s falling behind. I need to get back to teaching him.”

Her eyes widen in surprise. “I didn’t know you had been giving him private lessons.”

“No one but Carson knew. I didn’t want to embarrass him. He seemed insecure about it all.”

“It’s always takes him a little longer to grasp things, but he’ll eventually get there.”

“I know he will.” Because I do. I’ll make sure of it. Lily and he both deserve to be able to communicate with one another easily.

“You were thinking about going home,” she says quietly so that no one else can hear.

“Yeah.”

“Luna, Dan and I have said that you can stay as long as you need. If that need has been met, then by all means don’t feel obligated to stay. I’m enjoying having you and the boys here, but I also enjoy my peace and quiet,” she says, smiling kindly.

“Thank you, but I’m not sure I’m ready yet.”

“You’ll know when the time is right.”

I nod.

We all sit together and eat outside and it’s the most wonderful meal I’ve had in a long time. The food tastes amazing, the temperature is just right, and the birds are singing.

My mom would have loved it here. She loved birds. Actually, all winged creatures.

I stand from my chair, walk a ways down by the trees, and lower myself onto the grass. Then I close my eyes.

A few minutes later, Cole sits down beside me. “Whatcha doin?”

“Shh,” I tell him, keeping my eyes closed.

He plucks at the grass, but he doesn’t make a peep … until he does. “Are you doing that thing?”

“What thing?”

“You know that listening for the birds thing you used to do with your mom?”

“Carson told you?”