Page 83 of Barefoot Lake

I bat my eyelashes and pull out my best high school girly voice.

He barks a laugh. “What a lucky bastard.”

Dinner is delicious, and I make a mental note to come back here enough times to try everything on the menu. I really do my best to forget our geographic issues and enjoy this night with Jake, but I resolve to come clean with him tomorrow.

CHAPTER 31

Alice

As Jake drives us home, in the silence of the dark car, I slide deeper and deeper into my thoughts, battling between the ties I have in Boston and the joy I’ve found living on Barefoot Lake. I’m quiet, and Jake keeps stealing glances at me. I don’t need to look at him to know his brow is furrowed.

After he stops the car in front of my house, Jake reaches over to touch my cheek like he did when we first got in the car a few hours ago. Again, he kisses me.

“Do you want me to come inside?” he asks softly.

“Yes, please,” I admit. I feel vulnerable, and I want him to hold me.

He gets out and comes around to open my door for me.

“I’m just going to put her back in the garage and then I’ll come back over,” Jake explains, jerking his head back to the car.

Still, he walks me up to my door and waits until I’ve unlocked it and stepped inside before returning to the driver’s seat. Minutes later, he’s back by my side, and I quietly lead him upstairs.

Jake helps me out of my dress before stripping down to his boxers and draping his clothes over the chair in my room. He picks up one of his white t-shirts from that same chair — the last few days have resulted in a little stockpile of Jake’s clothes at my house — and slides it over my head.

We brush our teeth in silence before crawling into bed. Without a word, Jake collects me in his arms, pulling my back flush against his chest and slipping one of his legs between mine. I’m completely consumed by him.

It feels safe.

We stay quiet, but neither of us falls asleep anytime soon.

Jake’s speech at dinner was full of assurances, and I want to say yes to him, but the guilt I feel over the idea of upending his life threatens to crush me.

With Jake’s breath on the back of my neck, this moment feels like goodbye. And I’m not sure if that’s worse.

I wake up still wrapped in Jake. I can see the glow of the early sun peeking around the curtains. I couldn’t have slept very long, but I still feel wide awake.

I keep thinking of my return to Boston with dread. I haven’t prepared at all. I don’t have a place to live in the city, and I haven’t spoken to work since finalizing my fall sabbatical. The mere idea of falling back into the bustle and the noise of city life is daunting. But I’m wildly behind, and I can’t put it off any longer. Even without housing and work concerns, I need to get back to Boston for a visit soon. Today.

My mind keeps running through the mountain of things I have to do in a relatively short period of time. The semester starts in a month and a half. I’m out of time.

I text Piper to ask if I can stay with her for a couple of days while I sort things out with work and look for apartments. Thankfully, she answers quickly and says yes. She must be opening at the library today to be awake this early.

Jake is lazily twirling the ends of my hair between the fingers on one of his hands, so I know he’s awake too. He lifts himself so he can press a kiss to the side of my head.

“Morning, Ace.”

I plaster on a smile that doesn’t feel authentic, turn over in his arms, and press tighter against him, nuzzling my face under his chin.

“Would you like me to stay home today?” Jake’s morning voice is gravelly, and I’m irritated that my sour mood prevents me from fully appreciating it.

I don’t see how I can win when it comes to my future with him. I take a deep breath.

“Actually, could you take a drive with me to Boston? I need to show you something.”

I feel Jake trying to pull back from me, but I squeeze him tightly.

“Is something wrong?” he asks.