Page 85 of Scarbound

Noeul didn’t answer.

“That isn’t a trick question,” Dr. Kim said. “I’m asking what you believe now.”

Noeul stared at the floor. “Some days, yes.”

“And other days?”

“I don’t know.”

Dr. Kim continued carefully. “Ms. Lee had just lost her son. She was grieving. Angry. Looking for an explanation.”

“She had one.”

“Did she?”

Noeul finally looked at her.

Dr. Kim kept her tone neutral. “I’m not asking you to excuse Gong. And I’m not asking you to excuse yourself if there were things you wish you had handled differently. But regret is not the same as responsibility.”

Noeul said nothing.

“You were Haneul’s friend,” Dr. Kim continued. “Not his doctor. Not his parent. Not someone who could see inside his mind.”

“I should have noticed.”

“Perhaps.”

The answer surprised him. Dr. Kim didn’t soften it.

“Perhaps there were things you missed. Most people can look backward after a suicide and find moments they wish they had understood differently. But hindsight gives you information you did not have then.” Dr. Kim leaned forward slightly. “That matters.”

Noeul’s fingers closed around the ring again. “Ms. Lee knew me. She loved me.”

“Yes.”

“Then why would she say that if there wasn’t some truth in it?”

Dr. Kim studied him for a moment. “Because loving someone does not make us incapable of hurting them. And grief does not make every belief we have accurate.”

The words seemed to settle somewhere inside him.

“You’ve treated Ms. Lee’s accusation as evidence for years.”

Noeul frowned.

“What if it wasn’t evidence?”

He looked up.

“What if it was the worst moment of a grieving mother’s life?”

Dr. Kim let the question remain unanswered.

After a while, Noeul looked toward the window. “She used to call me her third son.” His voice broke.

“I know.”

“And then one day I became the person who killed one of them.”