Page 268 of Scarbound

Duri slept on the sofa in the living room. Ji-Woo had finally agreed to use the guest room. Yujin had left another bottle of water by the door with no note this time. Noeul lay beneath the blanket. His head still hurt. His body still hurt. Memories came in pieces whenever he closed his eyes. So he opened them again.

He looked around the room. Guitar. Posters. Headphones. A jacket thrown carelessly over a chair. Duri. The room belonged to Duri. Not Gong. Not Haneul. Not Chung-Hee.

For a moment, Noeul imagined another room. Somewhere far away. A cheap hotel. A mountain cabin. A train moving through a country where nobody knew his name.

Noeul turned onto his side. Not yet a plan. Not even hope. Just the faint possibility that somewhere there might still be a life that belonged only to him.

CHAPTER 59

A little over three weeks had passed since Duri had opened Chung-Hee’s bedroom door and found him.

Some things had improved. Noeul could follow conversations again. Most days, he knew where he was when he woke. The headaches had become less frequent, the bruises had begun to fade, and Dr. Kim no longer had to repeat every question twice before he understood it.

Other things had not improved at all.

Noeul closed the bathroom door and draped the towel over the chair. With slow, deliberate movements, he stepped up to the sink and picked up his toothbrush. For a few seconds, he only stared at his reflection.

The face in the mirror resembled the one he remembered, yet it was still bruised, battered in places. The cut on his lip had healed. The darker marks were turning yellow around the edges. His eyes bothered him more. They looked like his, but not entirely.

The marks on his skin carried too much history now. Gong. Haneul. Chung-Hee. Years spent trying to forgive, trying to atone, trying to comfort the living while honoring the dead. His face wasn’t the only thing that hurt. His entire body still ached some mornings.

Noeul lowered his gaze. Was this pain enough? Had he suffered enough? The question had followed him for years.

Maybe that was the problem.

He turned toward the bathtub. Baths had become easier than showers. He liked being able to sit. To see the door. To control the water himself.

Noeul undressed without looking at the mirror again and turned on the tap.

Hot. Hotter.

The heat helped. Not because it could wash anything away. He knew better than that now. But because the sensation gave him something simple to focus on. Heat. Water. Breathing. Nothing else. He tested the temperature with his hand. Too hot. He knew it was. Still, he turned the tap a little farther.

A knock came from the other side of the door. “Hyung?” Noeul didn’t answer.

Another pause. “It’s me.”

Duri. Noeul stared at the water.

“Are you okay?”

“Yes.” The word came automatically. He frowned, then corrected himself. “No.”

Silence followed. Duri didn’t open the door. “Do you want me to come in?”

Noeul looked toward it. His first instinct was no. His second frightened him more. “Yes.”

“Are you dressed?”

“No.”

“All right. I’ll wait.”

Noeul blinked. He hadn’t thought about that. He reached for the towel and wrapped it around his waist. “Okay.”

The door opened slowly. Duri stepped inside but remained close to it. His gaze went first to Noeul’s face, then to the steaming bath. “Hyung.”

Noeul already knew what he was going to say. “It’s too hot.”