Page 267 of Scarbound

“Then this conversation.”

For some reason, that nearly made him cry. He pressed his fingers against his eyes. “I don’t want to stay here forever.”

Dr. Kim paused. “In Duri’s home?”

“No.”

Noeul swallowed. “Here.”

“What does here mean?”

He looked around. The apartment. Seoul. The buildings beyond the window. The cemetery. The university. His parents’ house. Every street seemed to contain someone he’d lost or someone he’d failed.

“I don’t know. I just…”

He stopped. Dr. Kim waited.

Noeul tried again. “I want somewhere that doesn’t know me.”

Silence.

“A place where nobody knows Gong.” His voice cracked. “Or Haneul.”

Another breath.

“Or Chung-Hee.”

He looked down. “Somewhere I can wake up and not already be somebody’s brother. Somebody’s mistake. Somebody’s…”

He couldn’t finish.

Dr. Kim’s voice remained soft. “That sounds important.”

Noeul frowned. “I’m not saying I’m leaving.”

“I didn’t say you were.”

“I don’t even know where I’d go.”

“Then you don’t need to decide.”

Noeul leaned his head against the window. The glass was cold. “I used to want to travel.”

“With Gong?”

“With everyone.”

A faint smile came and went. “Ji-Woo and I used to talk about it.”

“Do you still want to?”

Noeul looked outside. For the first time in days, the question didn’t feel entirely impossible. “I don’t know.”

Dr. Kim waited.

Then Noeul whispered, “Maybe.”

That night, Noeul returned to Duri’s room. The lamp remained on. He had asked for that.