Page 18 of Worth Risking It

“Mm hm,” he answered without looking at me.

“I was worried. I called and texted, but you didn’t answer. I was scared your back locked up on you.”

He coughed, tapping his pinky on the butt to knock off the ashes. “Phone’s in the room. Back’s fine.”

I sat down on one of the outdoor chaises, my forearms on my thighs and my hands clasped. “But you’re not.”

He snorted with derision, shaking his head. His sight returned to the sky, so I followed, seeing some of the most beautiful oranges and yellows fading into purple.

“Oh, wow.”

“Sunsets look different without the city, huh?”

“It’s gorgeous.”

He exaggeratingly cleared his throat and made a blunt statement out of nowhere that nearly knocked me to the floor. “I have to have a baby soon.”

Instant tears burned and I found it difficult to breathe. “What?” I shrieked. A sudden wave of heat washed over, thawing the chill to coat me in a light sheen of perspiration.

He brought the cigarette to his mouth and took a long drag, pushing the smoke through his nostrils. “Milo told me a couple weeks ago you and him moved your wedding date up to February.”

I shrunk, my shoulders drawing to my ears.

“Says you two are going to start trying to have a baby soon afterward, so I gotta have a baby.”

“That makes no sense.”

His head bobbed to the side to gawk, anger lighting his eyes. “Hello? Why the fuck am I here? Why are my brothers here? It’s what the Shaw’s have done for generations. My dad was born for Theodore, my uncles for other Pampinella’s.

“You and Milo are going to have kids, so I need to, also. My kid will be your kid’s protector.”

“But…but…Who?”

His lashes lifted to focus on the sky. “No idea. All I have is yo…”

Closing his lids, he tipped his chin to the shoulder farthest from me and cursed, smashing his cigarette in the ashtray on the arm of his chaise. Grunting, he pushed it to the small table and laid back, twining his fingers over his stomach.

“Guess that won’t really work, huh?”

My elbows on my knees, I covered my mouth and nose, sickened at the very idea of him being with another woman, having a baby with her. Hugging my arms to my stomach, my feet lifted up and down from my toes to the ball, rocking me. Sniffling, I whispered, “So, how are you going to find this woman? Where?”

“I don’t know, Chazzy,” he barked, throwing his head to the back of the cushion. He stared at the roof, his crossed ankles swaying with agitation. “I don’t fucking know what to do.”

“I just won’t get pregnant.”

He rolled his head to leer. “How do you expect that to work when the two of you have talked about that since you first started planning a future? Milo will be suspicious if you suddenly do a one eighty on him.

“Besides,” he grumbled, once again looking at the sunset. “I know how much you want kids. You’re not giving that up.”

“But…I…don’t want you to have a baby with someone.”

“I’m not exactly looking forward to it, either.” He chuckled, tapping his thumbs together. “I never wanted kids. I honestly never thought Milo would settle down and have any, so I figured I was safe.”

His lids closed, his head shifted, and then they opened to gaze at me. “You sure as hell surprised a lot of people, princess. Waltzed into our lives and changed everything.”

“I’m sorry,” I squeaked timidly.

His brows lifted and his Adam’s apple shook with his raspy, gruff response. “I’m not.”