Page 60 of Wanna Bet?

You missed work again? Issaky said you weren't at the stand this morning.

And another.

From: Headphone Guy

Call me, please.

She didn't know why Ellis cared so much, and she didn't know whether to feel happy or annoyed by it.

From: Headphone Guy

Myah, seriously, answer your damn phone.

Her thumb hovered over the screen but she couldn't do it. Couldn't explain this. Couldn't listen to him tell her things would be okay. Because they weren't okay. They weren't even close. Jace was gone. And somehow losing him had ripped open every wound she'd spent years trying to stitch together.

Abandonment.

Rejection.

Worthlessness.

Every ugly thing she believed about herself had suddenly become true. She set the phone back down. Then immediately hated herself for that too. Because Ellis was trying, and she was failing him, just like she'd failed everyone else.

A knock sounded at the apartment door and Myah froze. She waited a moment, half convinced it wasn't at her door. Then another knock happened. Her stomach twisted.

"Myah." Ellis said from the hallway. Of course.

She squeezed her eyes shut. Maybe if she stayed quiet—

"Myah, I know you're home."

Damn it.

The knocking continued. Steady and persistent like Ellis himself. Eventually she dragged herself from bed, recognizing how the movement felt exhausting. Every step toward the door felt heavier than the last.

When she opened it, Ellis immediately frowned. "Oh."

She hated that look. The concerned one. The one people got when they realized she was worse than she'd admitted.

His eyes swept over her in her oversized sweatshirt, tangled hair, and no doubt dark circles.

"You look like shit."

"Thanks."

"I'm serious." Ellis sighed, then pushed past her into the apartment. "Myah."

"What?"

"You haven't answered me in days."

She shrugged. "I didn't feel like talking."

"You haven't gone to work." Another shrug. "Didn't feel like that either."

Ellis turned toward her and for a moment neither of them spoke. Then he said quietly, "You need to stop doing this."

Something sharp flared inside her. Anger maybe? Defensiveness? Shame? The holy trinity.