Page 59 of Wanna Bet?

Her stomach sank, because every single morning she checked. And every single morning she hoped. Maybe today Jace would text her back. Maybe today there would be something. Anything. An angry message, a hateful message, a demand to leave him alone. At least then she'd know he was still thinking about her. Instead there was nothing.

The silence was worse, it felt permanent. Her text thread with him sat pinned at the top of her messages. The last thing she'd sent was six days ago.

From: Myah

I'm sorry.

The message before that:

From Myah:

Please just tell me you're okay.

And before that:

From: Myah

I know you hate me, but I’m sorry.

No read receipt. No response.Nothing.

Myah swallowed around the lump in her throat. Then she opened the thread anyway. Because apparently humiliation had become a hobby. She reread every conversation. Every joke and stupid meme. Every late-night message and flirtatious comment. Every piece of evidence proving she'd somehow convinced someone like Jace to care about her.

A fresh wave of nausea rolled through her, because he hadn't deserved this. Not even a little. Jace had been kind and patient and safe. And she'd lied to him from the very beginning.

The self-loathing hit like a freight train. Of course he hated her. Of course he didn't answer. What kind of idiot had she been to think he would?

A bitter laugh escaped her. The sound echoed through the empty apartment. Pathetic.

She tossed her phone onto the mattress and dragged her hands over her face. Everything hurt. Every thought felt sharp. Every memory felt poisonous. And the worst part was that her brain wouldn't stop. It never stopped. The second she opened her eyes each morning it began.

You're awful.

You're manipulative.

You're disgusting.

You ruin everything.

Nobody stays.

Nobody should stay.

Her therapist had once explained the spiral as black-and-white thinking. Emotional permanence. Catastrophizing. She could practically hear the clinical terms rattling around her head. Knowing what was happening didn't stop it, It just meant she got to watch herself drown while understanding exactly why.

The phone buzzed and Myah grabbed it instantly. Hope exploded in her chest and then immediately died.

Ellis. Again.

She stared at the notification.

From: Headphone Guy

Checking in. You alive?

The text had arrived twenty minutes earlier. There were four others beneath it.

From: Headphone Guy: