Page 228 of Breathe Like Hell

I envisioned the wings disappearing.

An instant later, the weight was gone from my shoulders.

“Oh,” I said. “That didn’t work earlier.”

“It doesn’t, until they’re done healing. Conjure them again, please.”

I did.

Calliope walked around the back of me, inspecting different parts of the wings, making me extend and retract them and pressing her fingertips against my skin while I did, feeling my muscles.

“Your wings have grown nicely.” She stood in front of me again. “And you are free to leave. If you want to land near where you rose, walk back to the spot where you went through the gate. It should’ve reappeared. Then just step through and go across the pool to the tear in the sky. If you want to fall somewhere else, there will be many gates around Heaven for you to choose from.”

“Okay.” I could think of nothing else to say. This entire thing was surreal.

“You’re not allowed to keep those clothes.” She pointed to the cotton shirt and shorts I was wearing. “Angels aren’t allowed to take things from Heaven when they fall,” she explained.

“I’ll change into my old clothes.”

“Great. Anything else?”

“No?”

“If you change your mind, let me know. This is an irreversible decision. It will be completely permanent. Angelakia are unable to create more of their kind, even after transformation.”

Then Calliope left the room, and I was standing alone. I felt like I knew what she was talking about, but also not. It was all confusing to me.

Tears pricked my eyes, but I rapidly blinked them away, pushing off the panic attack that’d been brewing since I arrived—yet again. Once I was on Earth, I could cry. Micah would comfort me. Mason, too.

And then they would both teach me about how to be an angel, and we could resolve our fight, and everything would be fine.

I took a steadying breath, changed back into my clothes, then left and began walking in the direction of the place where I’d come through the copper gate.

My journey seemed shorter this time, now that I knew what to expect, and the gate stood tall exactly as Calliope had promised. I turned around to take in the sight of Mount Olympus one more time, fully aware that I’d never be able to return here. Maybe if the circumstances had been different, I would’ve stayed and explored for a few days, but I needed to go back and make sure everything was okay. These limited memories would have to suffice.

Though I’d once wished to go to Heaven, to live here as an angel, I needed to be with the men I loved so much more.

Cool air entered my lungs, carrying a whisper of its metallic scent, making my skin glow bright. Once on Earth, the ultraneon would disappear, and my instant healing would be replaced by fast healing. Neither of those things bothered me, considering I hadn’t had any of this yesterday.

I took the last few steps toward the gate, then waited for it to open.

On the other side was the shallow black pool of water, the void stretching infinitely around it in every direction, and I walked across it as fast as I could. The tear in the sky was back, but this time a familiar place would be on the other side.

Breathing in my final inhale of neon-rich air, I fell through.

Instantly, the rip was sealed up behind me, and I was plummeting out of the sky, freezing cold air wrapping around me like an icy blanket, making my teeth chatter.

In my periphery I could see a flame spreading across my white wings, searing them black. It was hard to breathe, but the memory of being on Earth yesterday was still so fresh in my mind that this felt like nothing. That was suffocation; this was manageable.

I tried to use my wings to slow my descent, but I couldn’t. They didn’t work or I didn’t know how to use them or I was too cold to move, the flame of my own transformation the only thing flickering warmth over my skin.

I crashed into the sand at full speed, and I swore every bone in my body shattered with the impact. I couldn’t move, could hardly suck in a full breath, as I tried to focus on surviving the pain. Half my ribs must’ve been broken, and I felt it with every attempt at inhaling. Cold saltwater washed over me, taking blood and ichor with it—my ichor, joining the gold with the teal of the sea.

Dark grains of sand clung to my damp cheek, my cold lips. I held myself motionless, staring at the water rolling up and down the beach while I lay broken on the sand. I wasn’t healing nearly as quickly as I had in the pool before Heaven’s entrance.

But I was healing.

My eyes tracked a lone black feather drifting to land in the ocean, instantly being tumbled under waves.