Page 25 of The Gods Order

“I did, and you said you did know, and they were alive and well. Well, not well, but safe. So did you know he was my father?” she asks, not masking the hurt creeping into her tone.

“No, I swear.” He jerks his head back and forth. “The Messenger told me exactly what I was allowed to share with you once you found me, but as soon as you asked about your parents’ whereabouts, my power responded. Because I was holding you—”

“You were holding her?” Riven cuts in, but Doren ignores him.

“It led me right to them, and this awareness that I couldn’t tell you washed over me. I decided to just reassure you about their conditions. They weren’t in Godsden at that time, and your mother still isn’t.”

His glow brightens for a fleeting second, then dulls again. The entire table stares at him, waiting for an answer he clearly doesn’t want to give.

“Where is she? Where were they this whole time?” Her face crumples and she curls her lips together. “Doren, I deserve this answer.”

“You do. I just don’t want to be the one to tell you and upset you.”

She leans back in her chair, tapping her fingers against the table. Then they fall still and her lips part. The tug against my soul—and obviously my brothers’—has us adjusting in our seats.

Her breath huffs out. “Behind the barrier. In Oddian.”

His clipped smile says it all.

“That whole time? For twenty years, they were merely steps away from me too many moments to count?”

“I don’t know if they were there the whole time, but when you asked me in the cavern, that’s where they were. That’s where your mother still is.”

“Shit,” Riven mumbles. “That’s why when you stepped between me and the barrier, it rejected us. His barrier was keeping you out. You never would’ve been able to pass through, little burden.”

“But that…it doesn’t make sense. Amick, you said you barely sensed any Valorian power when we were there.”

Her need for this to be untrue is clear in her eyes. I hate to confirm what Doren is claiming.

“It was there, but knowing what we know now—meeting the Vito Nexus—it’s clear the Elementrian power was the stronger energy I sensed.”

She shakes her head. “But wouldn’t you have sensed the God of Boundaries’ power? At least a little?”

“Not necessarily,” Yemi says, and Thayla jerks her attention to her. “The power of Boundaries can easily go undetected. If I taught myself that in a short time, there’s no doubt your—The God of Boundaries has perfected hiding his power.”

The shutdown that washes over my Binder isn’t slow. It’s instant.

One second, her face is flushed with anger and denial. Now, staring back at us is a coldness I’ve only seen her aim at a handful of people. My soul feels the numbness sweeping through her.

Just as fast as it started, it slams to a stop, and she sucks in a sharp breath. Her focus snaps toward Iric.

“Not with us. Not with the people at this table who love you and will fight beside you,” he says.

Her bottom lip trembles. I desperately want to go to her.

Kyzen moves first, cupping her hand with both of his. She stares into his eyes for a long moment.

“Fine,” she finally says. “I’m angry. I feel betrayed, lied to, manipulated. And worst of all…I’m fucking heartbroken. I literally just accepted that I was ready to let them go. Then he stepped out from in front of the original Gods Binding and stared at me. He just stared. He dropped the barrier around Meridamus like it was nothing, and I was supposed to what? Say, ‘Oh my gods, how exciting, both men who raised me were secretly Beginning Gods all along.’”

The muscles in her cheeks twitch from how many times she flexes her jaw. None of us rush her or break the silence.

“It’s all too damn much right now, and I want to put everything in little boxes inside my mind. I can work through them as I go, but right now, I do not want to fix our relationship. I don’t even want to acknowledge that we have one. We don’t have one, actually. I’ve lived my life without him longer than I lived it with him. I don’t need him as my father or Meridamus as my godfather. I need to know where the God of Boundaries and the God of Consequence stand in this. That’s all I want right now. So where do we begin?”

She scans us all, waiting for someone to speak. Her attention whips to Nero as he clears his throat.

“The first step from here needs to be setting up a meeting.”

“I do agree, and I know that, but I can’t sit across from him and pretend we’re going to have some heartfelt reunion,” she says.