Page 13 of The Gods Order

“Guys.”

I breathe.

The weight of everything roaring inside of me comes crashing down and I crumble right along with it all. Before I can hit the ground, strong arms catch me under my arms and tug me so close, all I can see and smell is him.

“I’ve got you, gorgeous. We’ve got you,” Kyzen swears as he lowers us down.

Riven presses himself against my back. Creed grips the back of my neck. Amick laces his fingers through mine.

I shatter.

A sob tears out of me so violently it hurts. The sound barely resembles my own. My chest caves inward. My lungs burn. My entire body trembles.

I clutch at Kyzen’s shirt with both hands, desperate for something solid to anchor myself to, but there isn’t enough air in my lungs. There isn’t enough space inside my chest for all of this hurt.

I don’t even know what I’m crying for exactly.

The lies. The secrets. The betrayal. The father I painted in my mind. The person he really is.

It all blurs together until it’s one giant, unbearable ache.

Riven’s arm tightens around my waist.

Creed’s hand remains locked on the back of my neck.

Amick squeezes my fingers so tightly I can feel his pulse against my skin.

None of them tell me to stop. None of them try to fix it.

They simply hold me together while I come apart.

My body begs them not to let me go as the sobs keep coming one after another. They’re ugly, broken, and uncontrollable. Every breath feels like inhaling shattered glass. Every exhale feels like something inside me is splintering further.

Eventually, the tears ease and the tremors wracking through me slowly lessen. My breathing remains uneven, but it no longer feels like I’m trying to drag air through cracked marble.

It’s because of them. My men. My Valtrue.

I focus on their touches.

Amick’s fingers gently squeeze just like they did the first time he ever held my hand. The curiosity is gone. Now it’s comfort. Creed’s thumb draws soft circles around the pulse thudding wildly in my neck. His caress reminds me how alive I am. Riven’s palms are splayed out over where my power of Chaos and Seduction lies. He continues to lay kisses against my spine. Kyzen’s chest rises and falls beneath my cheek. I count the rhythmic beats of his heart.

I cling to them.

The silence surrounding us isn’t uncomfortable. It’s protective and patient. They give me all the time I need.

Eventually, I untangle my aching fingers from Kyzen’s shirt and swipe the drying water from my face. I slowly sit upright and glance at each of them, except for Riven. I run my hands across his, hinting that he can let me go now. He doesn’t.

I release a shaky sigh.

“That was my father.”

They respond to my small, rough comment with low hums.

“Yeah, little goddess,” Kyzen says, wiping away a tear I missed as he cups my cheek. “That was.”

My lips flap together with my harsh exhale and I give him what I can muster up of a tight smile.

“I don’t even know what to do from here.”