Page 63 of Doubting Hearts

He looked discomfited, and I knew this sort of thing wasn’t easy for him to share and vocalize. It wasn’t his style. Rain was a man of action, not words. But I let him flounder.

“I remembered that first kiss in the storeroom. How hot it was, and every kiss since that. I didn’t feel anything for him anymore. It was such a relief. I was about to tell him that when I looked up and saw you.” His voice trembled. “I never want to see that look on your face again. It destroyed me.”

He stopped pacing and looked at me hopefully. I didn’t move closer to him, just stood my ground. “It hurt, Rain,” I said quietly. “I never thought anything could hurt like that. I thought I’d lost you. I thought you were going to leave me.” I heard the tremor in my voice as he strode over to me and pressed his lips to mine, hungry and needy. I couldn’t resist him. I groaned slightly and let him in. We kissed, bodies pressed together as if we wanted to merge into a one-celled organism. We came up for air, and Rain smiled at me, still holding me close.

“I prefer that to fighting,” he murmured.

I moved back to look at him. “Has Tommy gone?”

He nodded. “Yeah, I called him a taxi, and it took him away. I don’t know where. I’ll hear from him sooner or later about the sale of the house.” He huffed. “To be honest, I don’t think I’ll fight it. We’ll get it sold, and he can have his bloody share. Then I’ve got nothing connecting us anymore. I kept the house because I thought maybe one day he might come back.” He grinned softly. “But I have a garden shed and a Toby now, so I don’t need a fancy place in Chelsea.”

I chuckled softly against his neck. I felt an overwhelming sense of joy at holding him in my arms. Goose bumps formed on his skin, and I kissed them softly, feeling him shiver. He had no idea that I was about to plunge him deeper into the mire that was emotional expression. “Tell me.”

He reared back and looked at me in puzzlement. “Tell you what?” I just looked at him, and his face colored. “Oh. That.”

I laughed softly. “Yes, that, Rain. You said you wanted to talk to me face-to-face. So tell me.”

He took a deep breath and closed his eyes momentarily. I couldn’t believe that uttering the words was such a challenge for him. I was about to let him off the hook when he leaned forward.

“I love you,” he whispered in my ear. “My brave, funny, beautiful, sexy Toby. I love you madly.”

It was my turn to hyperventilate now, my breathing getting deeper and my insides churning like dirty clothing in a washer. Rain looked very pleased at causing that sort of reaction in me, and he grinned slyly.

“See? I can do it. Now it’s your turn.” He waited expectantly, and I was tongue-tied. His eyes twinkled. “I’m waiting.” His formal admission seemed to have given him a cocky confidence he hadn’t had before. I took his face in my hands and kissed him deeply, my tongue winding with his, giving him my lips in the way I knew he liked it. When I released his mouth, leaving him breathless, I laid my forehead against his.

“I love you, Rain. You have my heart and my soul.” He gave a small cry and reached for my mouth again. We were just getting very touchy- feely when there was a loud banging on the door.

“Would you two please stop whatever you’re doing and open the bloody door, please?” Tammy’s impatient voice vibrated loudly through the door. “I’ve given you enough time, but I’d really like to get my handbag and piss off home!”

We drew apart and looked at each other, grinning. He ran a hand over my groin, and I shivered.

He kissed me tenderly. “I’ll wait upstairs for you if you like. Come up once you’ve closed up or whatever it is you do, and I’ll take care of that for you. Don’t be too long.” He gave me a quick kiss on the cheek and then looked at me, his face slightly apprehensive. “We are okay, aren’t we, Toby? You’re not mad with me anymore?”

The banging on the door got louder.

I nodded. “Yeah, we’re good. Now, let’s open this door before she bloody breaks it down with a fire axe.”

I made my way to the door and unlocked it. My friend and staff member stood there, her face pink with frustration. Rain brushed past her lightly, planting a kiss on the top of her head, and disappeared to my room.

Tammy glared at me. “Thank you so much, Toby. Perhaps now some of us can go home now you and your boyfriend have finished canoodling.”

I raised an eyebrow. I felt so good at this moment that nothing she or anyone could say would bring me down. Rain said he loved me. His ex is history once and for all.

“Canoodling, Tam? That’s a new one. How does that work, actually, in gay-man sex terms? Do I canoodle him, or does he canoodle me? Perhaps we canoodle each other. That sounds amazing, however physically impossible it might be—”

Tammy placed a warm, firm hand on my mouth and gave me a look that would have turned Medusa herself to stone. “Toby Prentiss, you shut up right now. I have had a shitty day, and I want to get home.” But her voice was not as mad as her words suggested.

I looked at her with a huge smile on my face. “Rain told me he loved me, Tammy. He actually said the words.”

Her face lit up like a lighthouse beacon. “Toby, I’m so glad. I knew he did, of course, any plonker could see that, but he’s so bloody stubborn. He needed a push. How did you get him to finally admit it?”

I shrugged. “Actually, it wasn’t me that convinced him. It was his ex-boyfriend.” Her mouth dropped open, and I laughed at her expression. “It’s a long story, and I’ll tell you later.” I grinned and waved down at my nether regions. “But right this minute I have a man upstairs willing to take care of this little predicament I seem to have found myself in, and come hell or high water, I’m off. Chris is already in to take charge. I saw him earlier. I, my dear, am off upstairs for a little canoodling.”

I waved a hand at her shaking head and made the stairs two at a time up to my suite. I pushed open the door. “Honey, I’m home!”

Rain appeared out of the bathroom. He only had his jeans on, his bare chest very inviting to my tongue and hands, the dark hair running down his belly into his groin a definite invitation to pillage and plunder. He smiled, but he looked slightly nervous.

I frowned. “You didn’t start without me, did you? Because that would be very unfair—mph.” My words were cut off as Rain pulled me toward him, shoving his tongue in my mouth, effectively shutting me up for a while. His taste was all man, sweat and sweet apple, probably because he’d been pilfering from the fruit bowl downstairs again on his way up.