Page 21 of Doubting Hearts

Chapter Seven

TOBY

I WATCHED the taillights of Rain’s car leave the parking lot, standing staring at them long after they’d disappeared. What the hell had happened? One minute we’d been close; the next the man’s mood had simply flicked to dark like a lightbulb being turned off. Had something I said put him off? Did he think less of me because of the stories I’d told him? Perhaps he’d heard the warning in my voice when I’d spoken about living with Ricky in the pub. Not one of the most palatable highlights of my life but something that had needed to be done if I’d wanted to survive. Maybe he thought I’d been some sort of rent boy.

“I was not a bloody rent boy,” I said out loud. It had been something I’d been trying to convince myself of since I was fifteen. The idea that Rain might think the same hurt badly. I turned and walked to the back door, drew out my key, and slipped it into the lock. I passed into the darkened kitchen, out into the hallway, and finally into the lobby. I ascended the stairs to my room still deep in thought. Showering quickly, I washed the night’s activities off my body, then crawled into bed under the cool, soft feather duvet.

I lay awake awhile trying to figure the evening out. It had been incredible, the sort of night I’d dreamed about having since I’d booted Trevor out of my life three months ago. The memories of Rain sucking me off and then fucking me so intimately were foremost in my mind. I stroked myself slowly as I thought about that. He might have gone cold, although the kiss in the parking lot when we got back indicated he still had some interest. I was very drawn to Rain Engel, definitely beyond just sex. I was determined he was going to let me in. He could play hard to get all he liked.

The following morning I was in the office looking over some projections for the next month when someone came in. Looking up, I saw Simon watching me carefully. Simon had been quieter and more reserved since seeing us in the bar together. Obviously what Tammy had told him about Rain and I had had an impact. I had to confess that, with Rain in my life, I’d barely given a second thought to my original attraction to Simon. I’d chalked it up to a temporary spell of insanity that I had thought I could get it on with my mentor and friend.

“Simon, good morning. You’ve been out and about a bit lately. We haven’t seen each other much.”

I closed the file and leaned back to look at him. He looked tired.

He moved forward, pulling out the chair opposite the desk, and sat down. “I’ve been busy with the investors. That’s what I’ve come to talk to you about.”

“Sounds interesting. What’s up, then?”

His next words shocked me to the core. “I’m moving to Spain.” His words were quiet, his face watchful as he held my gaze.

My mouth dropped open. “Spain? You mean, moving for a holiday?”

He shook his head. “No, I’m going to live there for a while. I’ve been asked to oversee the building of another hotel in Cadiz. The investors want me to get involved. It just makes sense to move there temporarily. But it means that that leaves you 100 percent in charge of the day-to-day management of this hotel while I’m gone.”

I stared at him, the sense of loss at this declaration getting deeper. “But I need you here. What will I do without you being around? I can’t run this on my own.”

He laughed. “Toby, you run this hotel anyway. Don’t make any mistake about that. You have for the last few years. You’re an incredibly talented manager, and I’m lucky to have you.” His voice faltered slightly. “And you don’t need me. You seem to have everything under control all on your own.” The double meaning of his words and his emphasis on the word “me” didn’t escape me, and with a flash of clarity, I knew everything Rain had told me about Simon having feelings for me was right.

“I’m going to be flying out to Cadiz the day after tomorrow to find what I need to get settled, and then I’ll come back and wind up here. I need to be out there in about two weeks’ time, if possible. The timelines for this new project are pretty tight.”

I didn’t know what to say. Although I’d never really considered Simon in “that” way other than the night he’d come to my hotel room, I realized I didn’t want to lose him. Simon had been my rock these past four years, and to have him abandon me like this was tantamount to losing a good friend. If the feelings in my heart were anything to go by, perhaps it had even been a little more. That realization rocked my world. I drew a deep breath, hurt rising from my stomach to my throat.

“So you’re just leaving me.” My voice was flat, and he looked at me in surprise.

“Toby, you’re more than capable of running this place. God, man, you’re better than me at it.”

“No. I mean you’re leaving me.” My voice choked up. I was so bloody confused at what I was feeling. How could I have the feelings for Rain that I did and yet feel so lost at the thought of this man no longer being part of my life?

His eyes widened, and he leaned forward. “Toby, what are you saying?” The slight gleam of hope in his eyes was enough to make me think about what I was going to say next. I took a deep breath.

I need to take the sensible option here until I understand what I’m feeling. I need time. What I was about to say was probably the truth, anyway.

“Simon, you’re my friend. You’ve been my mentor all these years. Of course I’m upset you’re going. I just meant I’m really sad to see you leave. But I understand this is a great opportunity, and you need to do what makes you happy.”

He leaned back, the light in his eyes fading. “Oh. Well, yes, there’s that, of course. But I’ll be back here often to check on my investment and manage the finances and permits and so on. When the new hotel is built, I want you to come out and see it. Perhaps you can take a holiday, you know, one of those things you’ve never had?” His voice was dry, and I knew he was trying to get things back on an even keel between us.

I nodded, forcing a smile. “That’s sounds good. I’d like that.” There was a tense silence between us; then he stood up.

“Rightio. I have some things to get sorted, so we’ll talk more later, perhaps.” He cocked his head inquiringly. “Did you have a good time last night—you and Rain?” His voice was light, but I heard the underlying note of tension. I swallowed.

Trust him to know all about that. The man missed nothing.

“Yes, we had a good time. It was good to go dancing again. It’s been a while.”

Simon smiled. “Good. I’m glad. He seems like a nice chap.” He smiled faintly. “And don’t worry; the ‘Simon Rule’ doesn’t apply to him. He doesn’t work here as such, so you’re safe on that score from my wrath.”

I smiled as I stood up, still feeling out of sorts. “Thanks. He’s good company. I appreciate the fact you’re putting your hotel in my hands, Simon. I won’t let you down. I promise. I’ll take good care of it for you.”