Page 75 of Asystole

“Yeah, I guess,” I reluctantly admit, though we both know it’s more than that.

“Does being attracted to me really freak you out that much?” Logan asks.

I turn to look at him, casting all jokes aside. I take in the blond tips in his light brown hair, the diamond studs in his ears. My eyes linger on the pulse point thrumming in his throat before moving back up to his eyes.

There’s no doubt about it: Logan Kirkland is hot.

It’s just a fact.

Like water is wet, the earth is round, and Logan is sexy as fuck.

I can admit that.

“No,” I answer, relieved when the tension eases in my muscles, giving confirmation that I’m telling the truth.

Logan’s lips curve in a smile, revealing his insanely white teeth again.

“You do admit you’re attracted to me, though?” he says, playing off our first night together.

I playfully nudge his shoulder.

“You’re alright,” I tease.

“Look,” he starts, turning to face me on the couch by pulling his right foot into his right thigh as his left foot stays braced on the floor. “I shouldn’t have been a dick. Regardless of how comfortable you are with someone else’s choices doesn’t mean you’ll automatically be that comfortable when it’s applied to your own life. My illustration probably took things a little too far, but I needed something dramatic here because I need you to understand it’s not that I don’t want to keep being roommates, it’s just like, a whole-ass house together feels like a bigger commitment than what I can handle while you’re still…uh…working through things,” Logan says, running a hand through his hair.

“No, it’s cool. I get it,” I tell him. “I might’ve jumped the gun on the whole townhouse thing,” I admit. “I just feel like I’m spiraling and need to control something. Buying that place would at least give me control over my space and take a little control of my life back.”

“Hey, I’m not saying no. I’m just saying maybe not right this minute.”

“Yeah, I hear you,” I say, sounding totally defeated to my own ears.

Logan pats my knee and stands.

“Well, you know, if you have any questions about things, I know you can always call Hanlon, but I’m here too.”

Him saying Hanny’s name again finally jogged my memory enough to remember, “Oh, I have something for you. I’ll be right back.”

Grabbing the envelope off my dresser, I make my way back to the living room.

“I didn’t want you to have to deal with this during your on-week, and after that crazy-ass weather, I’m glad I waited,” I tell him, handing him the envelope as that terrible dream plays on repeat in my mind.

At first, Logan looks confused, but I see the moment he reads the return address label in the top left corner, and he begins chewing on his bottom lip.

“Is this what I think it is?” he whispers.

“If you think it’s their wedding invitation, then yes,” I reply.

He tosses it onto the coffee table and mutters, “Un-fucking-believable.”

“Yeah, I sort of thought the same thing,” I tell him before starting to laugh. “Christ, we’re quite a pair, aren’t we? You’re fucked up over Stone. I’m fucked up over Kendra. We’re both exhausted all the time, living in this Cracker Jack box, and I’m so fucking tired of the cold and snow I could fucking die. Logan, my friend, it’s time for some changes.”

“Like adding bourbon to my coffee?” he asks.

“No! Here’s what we’re going to do. We’re both going to that wedding. I’m going to support my best friend, and you’re going to get closure. Then, we’re going to get on a plane, use a couple of our blessed days of vacation, and head to Aruba. We need a change of scenery. We need the sun and someplace warm. We both need to be reminded that life is bigger than this daily grind we find ourselves in.

“It’s time for you to stop running from the past and for me to stop being so focused on the future that I’m wasting today. I need a fresh fucking start even if everything in my daily life stays the same. I need something to reignite the fire under my ass and restore my zeal for life. Let’s go windsurfing or shark diving, or cliff jumping. What do you say?” I ask.

“Are you high?” Logan replies, making me laugh.