Page 106 of Asystole

Logan catches every drop, and once I’m tucked away and my pants are righted, he laces our fingers together.

“Are we going to tell Hanlon and Stone?” he asks.

“Of course,” I answer immediately. “But maybe once we get back? I don’t want any of the focus this weekend to be on us. After all, it’s their wedding.”

Logan chuckles.

“You don’t think they’re going to realize something is up when I’m grinding on you on the dance floor?”

I slowly turn my head to look at him for dramatic effect.

“You really think Hanny’s going to find it odd that I am dancing freely with an openly gay man?”

This time, Logan snorts.

“Yeah, probably not.”

“Let’s just be ourselves. If we want to touch, we will. If we want to dance, we will. It doesn’t have to be some big formal announcement. If they can pull their heads out of each other’s asses long enough to notice something is going on between us, then we’ll tell them.”

“That’s a big if,” Logan says, his tone causing my eyes to shift to him once again.

“Are you sure you’re okay with this? I mean, potentially hard-launching our relationship at the wedding of the guy you’ve been in love with for years may not be the best idea,” I point out.

Logan squeezes my hand.

“It’s been a crazy few months, Chase, but if I still had feelings for Stone, I wouldn’t be pursuing this with you now. Some may view it as unhealthy, going from a toxic obsession straight into a relationship, but the truth is when I’m with you, Stone isn’t even in my head, let alone my heart.”

When Logan and I arrive, we get checked into the bed-and-breakfast where the guests are staying. I can’t imagine the guest list is that big since Hanlon and Stone share the same family members and friends.

Since he’s not in the wedding party, Logan is content to wait for me in our room while I go through the rehearsal. Thankfully, it goes smoothly. It’s so great to hug my best friend that I refuse to let go for five minutes, and Stone not-so-gently reminds me that Hanlon is his. It’s on the tip of my tongue to tell him there’s no need to worry, I’ve found my own man, but now is not the time, and this is definitely not the place.

While I enjoy celebrating with my lifelong best friend, all I really want to do is get back to my room, strip off my suit, and crawl into bed next to Logan.

It seems that’s all I want to do these days.

Getting naked seems like a no-brainer, but as horny as we were on the way here, it’s calmed a bit, and I take what feels like the first deep breath I’ve had in months. I can physically feel the tension leaving my muscles as Logan melts into me, neither of us pushing to make it anything more. There’s a low hum of anxiety blanketing us, reminding me that just because Logan is choosing to move on with me and leave Stone in his past doesn’t mean he isn’t anxious about seeing him again, and I don’t blame him.

“Are you okay?” I ask Logan, rolling onto my back, pulling him onto his side so his head rests on my chest. He was so incredible to me while Kendra was visiting. He was everything I needed when I had nothing left to give, and I want to be that for him right now.

Logan runs his hand across my stomach and plays with the hair of my happy trail.

“I am. A little nervous about tomorrow, but honestly, I’m excited to move on. I’ve been unwillingly stuck in Stone’s orbit for a long time.”

“Once the ceremony is over, if you feel overwhelmed or anything, just let me know, and we’ll go, okay?”

Logan nods and burrows deeper into my side. Being the big spoon to him doesn’t give me the same pressure I felt when I was the big spoon to Kendra. With Logan, I feel like I have a partner, someone to share the decision-making and responsibilities of life with. With Kendra, it felt like she was the responsibility.

The difference is subtle but noticeable, and I much prefer the man in my arms to the woman they were never good enough for.

I fall asleep quickly and am pretty sure I don’t move the entire night.

Cracking an eye open the following morning, I wince against the sun coming through the sheer curtains.

Sure enough, Logan and I are in the exact same position we fell asleep in. I’m always up at the crack of dawn anyway, so I didn’t set an alarm. Waking up naturally feels wonderful. Waking up next to Logan feels even better.

I lie in bed wondering why I fought this so fucking hard, but I quickly give myself some grace, realizing that Logan was right: regardless of your stance on someone else’s life, your own life will always feel a thousand times more confusing. My recent experiences have made me even more proud of Stone and Hanlon for choosing their path despite its challenges and the fact that it was probably fucking terrifying to realize they were it for each other. I’m honored to stand behind Hanny in support today.

The sentimental thought makes me smile and tug Logan closer.