Page 46 of If Cain Were Able

“Yes, please.”

I’ll deal with being face-to-face with Taylor once I actually am, but right now, all I can think about is getting to Cain as fast as possible.

Chapter 27

Patrick

The rest of the evening passes in a blur, somehow both taking forever and flying by at the same damn time. I can’t focus on anyone or anything around me; my knee is bouncing, and my palms are sweating as we wait to start the boarding process.

I hate to admit it, but I wasn’t even this big of a mess when I lost Emilia. Not because it didn’t tear a hole right through me—because it certainly did—but because we had time. Emilia and I had twenty years together, and while watching her slowly fade away was one of the most painful things I’ve ever experienced…it wasn’t this.

It wasn’t this sudden, unexpected, visceral loss.

At the thought that Cain is already gone, I fight to keep my dinner down.

What I’d eaten of it, at least.

Sweat breaks out on the nape of my neck, and the tunnel vision forces my head between my knees.

“Dad, do you want some water or anything?” Liam asks beside me.

“No,” I whisper with a slight shake of my head.

What I really want is about six shots of liquor, to pass out for days, and to wake up only when Cain does.

Announcements start for our flight, and suddenly, I feel someone standing in front of me.

Probably someone from boarding group nine lining up already.

But then there’s a hand on my shoulder and a voice I’d recognize anywhere.

“Hey, Patrick. I’m sorry to hear about your friend. What happened to him is awful. If you need anything on the flight, just let me know, okay?”

Finally raising my head, I look up to find Taylor Landry staring down at me with a soft smile. The harsh fluorescent lights glint off his wedding band, and for the first time since breaking up, I don’t feel anger, sadness, or jealousy over that diamond-studded circle. I simply hope he’s as in love with Knox as I am with Cain.

I’ve danced around it, said the words at him and in reference to him, but I’ve never come right out and said ‘I love you.’ And now, I may never get the chance.

I nod, too overwhelmed by my revelation to answer verbally, and Taylor begins chatting with Damon and Liam before saying, “See you on board.”

Ten minutes later, I’m clicking my seatbelt into place in my row nineteen aisle seat, when Taylor appears again, discreetly passing me two airplane bottles of bourbon.

“I’m not sure what you need, but if it helps take the edge off, you can have these.”

His kindness may be the final nail in my coffin tonight.

“Thank you,” I mutter, taking the bottles even though I know I’m not going to drink them. I need my head as clear as possible, and I’m still trying to wrap my mind around the fact that I’m Cain’s emergency contact.

Thirty minutes later, the boarding doors close, the safety brief is given, and we’re pushing back from the gate.

When the fasten seatbelt sign is turned off, and the flight attendants begin their beverage service, I start rehearsing what I’m going to say to Taylor. It’s because of him I’m on this flight at all. I need to thank him. To apologize again. Something.

Taylor is still gorgeous. I imagine he always will be. Although he’s aesthetically pleasing to look at, Tay’s beauty radiates outward from within. It’s a light that not even my horrible treatment of him could put out.

I hear the cart approaching, and a man in the row behind mine turns on the charm, shamelessly flirting with my ex. Not that you can always judge a book by its cover, but Tay usually makes his cover pretty damn easy to read, and he was always being hit on by men.

“I’ll take a Sprite, and uh, is there any chance I could get your number with that?”

My anger and fear for Cain bubbles over, and I turn in my seat, replying sharply, “He’s married.”