Page 47 of Discovering Her Earl

“Well, no. She was most pleasant and patient, and really good about the whole matter. But still…”

“Perhaps you are making more of it than it requires? After all, there is nothing to be done for it one way or the other. If she decides to hold this against you, she will. And if not…” Ben shrugged.

Shrugged.

As if this were no big deal. As if this were not Julian’s only chance to do something meaningful with his life before ceding to his father’s demands.

“Since when does having a valid reason to worry come into it?” Julian asked. For years he’d known his attacks were unfounded and outrageous. But once he’d latched onto something he couldn’t just let it go. It was beyond him.

Ben sighed in what could only be defeat. Telling someone there is nothing to worry about rarely ever stopped them from worrying. People didn’t work that way.

“I can’t think of even one time,” Ben relented.

“Right. Telling me I have no reason to worry only makes me worry more.”

“Then by all means, please continue in your worry. I shall go ready a bath so you are suitable for dinner.”

“Dinner? I can’t go down to dinner.” Had the man not been listening? He was getting on in years, but Julian had never seen him anything but lucid.

Ben tilted his head.

“Do you plan to leave this room again? Ever?”

Julian glared at the older man. He was being ludicrous now, and well he knew it.

“Of course, I will need to leave the room. I’ll just need to do so when Miss Bantham is otherwise involved so I don’t ever have to speak to her again.”

“Very well.”

Julian knew that very well was spoken with layer upon layer of sarcasm.

He swallowed and hoped Ben would accept his next recommendation.

“Perhaps we should just go back to London.”

“You are saying you wish to run away on the off chance the woman refuses to allow you to attend the larger expedition. But if she has no intention of doing so, your cowardice will most likely ensure that she will forbid you from coming. Therefore, you are creating your own fate rather than waiting for the actual outcome. I see. How direct and efficient you are.”

“When you put it like that, it sounds utterly ridiculous.”

“Oh, good. You also think you’re being ridiculous. I enjoy when we reach an understanding.”

Julian rubbed his temples and paced about the room.

“I know it might not make sense, but I don’t want her to welcome me to the expedition out of pity. I’d rather she reject my offer if she truly feels that way than make special provisions because I made an arse of myself in her presence.”

“And mine,” Ben said but hid his insolence behind a cough.

“You’re supposed to cough while you say it to disguise your rudeness.”

“But how will you know I’m being rude if I hide it behind a cough?”

“I’m quite capable of dressing myself. I don’t know why I keep you around.”

“Because I tell you the truth whether you wish to hear it or not. As any good friend should do.” The man had him there. He was a good friend.

“What do you suggest I do?” Julian asked. Ben was right. It was better to hear the truth from a trusted source when one was behaving irrationally, rather than have it known to all the ton.

The best thing about Ben was, he didn’t point out how he had offered up numerous suggestions already and Julian had ignored each one. Instead, he considered seriously for a moment while tapping his chin before speaking.