Page 74 of Don’t Be A Stranger

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I don’t speak to Savannah. Or Bethany. Not even River. I try to stay out of everyone’s way, ignoring conversation as much as I can. But I only make it as far as the evening because River finds me in the kitchen when everyone is supposed to be outside, watching the fireworks. Or at least what they can of it because Dosha said that a storm was supposed to be heading our way. So now, Moose and some of the other guys are trying to set off as many leftover Fourth of July fireworks as they can.

River’s sunglasses rest on top of his head and his skin is slightly tanner than it was earlier today.

“So which is it?” he asks. “Are you avoiding me or the fireworks?”

I hop off the counter, making an effort to keep my voice light. “Neither, I was just about to head out there.”

I most definitely wasn’t.

Like he knows this—because he seemingly knows everything about me—River holds his arm out for me to link mine with his.

“Then shall we?”

I do link my arm with his and follow him to the front yard, which happens to be just as big as the back.

A few people are setting up the fireworks on the sidewalk, while others are sitting on the grass or standing around talking. I search for Savannah, who hasn’t made an effort to talk to me today but has let me know that she’s very much aware of my existence at this party. She smiles at me. Not the polite one she gave me when we ran into each other weeks ago. The smile Savannah keeps giving me is the one that made me gravitate toward her in the first place.

Soft. Gentle. Inviting me in with just one look.

Savannah has been asking me almost silently to come talk to her. Leander and Analisa—who I found out are Jeanette’s cousins—on the other hand have been giving me dirty looks all day. I spot Savannah sitting down on the blanket with Jeanette and Bethany.

River gently tugs me along to sit on the grass, no blanket beneath us. I sit with my legs crossed and back pin straight as River stretches his legs out in front of him, leaning back on his palms with his body close to mine, as always.

“Ready to get to naming foods.” River slips his sunglasses back over his eyes.

I don’t know why he bothers to watch fireworks anyway. He once said that watching fireworks is the equivalent to a flash bang.

It’s quiet between us while everyone around us is talking and laughing, but I can’t bring myself to turn toward River or lean into his side. If Savannah saw us, I’d feel awful. Then she’d know she was right and I can’t fix the fact I was so scared of my feelings for River that I dated Savannah in hopes I could ignore them.

I can’t necessarily fix the truth.

Moose helps to line the first few fireworks on the street. He lights them up and jogs off to steer clear of accidentally getting hit. The sound booms into the sky and pops. The sky shines red for a moment before trickling down and returning to black.

“Apple.” I keep my head tilted up even though there’s nothing up there yet.

“Sweet or sour?” River asks.

“That one was sweet.”

River flinches back when a white firework brightens most of the sky. My instinct to try and solve the problem takes over.

“Why don’t we just head back inside?” I finally turn to look at River instead of stealing glances from my peripheral vision. “It’s not like you’ll see much anyway if you end up with a migraine.”

Honestly, I should just suggest that we head back to the apartment. Maybe I can sleep this day off and talk to River properly, like I wanted to do earlier.

But River rears back, yet continues to watch, so I keep trying to think of foods that correlate to the colors. Usually, this whole game is fun but I’m so aware that Savannah is nearby, and I’m scared of her hearing me laugh. Or seeing me lean into River.

This is meant to be one of River’s and my final hurrah before this deal of ours comes to an end. I shouldn’t be here sitting under the colorfully lit night sky, worrying about how awful of a person I am—while also biting my tongue and not foolishly admitting to River everything I was brave enough to do earlier today.

Another firework lights up the sky, decorating it a shade of yellow. Everything comes to a halt when the first few water droplets are felt. Everyone at the party collectively stops for a moment, followed by a string of disappointed groans as it’s now officially sprinkling.

“Looks like the party is over,” Ava shouts from somewhere in the small crowd.

I take that as my cue to stand up and try to make a run for it, but River stands with me, quickly catching my wrist. I hate that my instinct is to pull away, but I don’t.

“You’re avoiding me,” River says gently.