Page 178 of Wicked Brutal

Darla nods. “That’s its heart.”

“It’s really fast.”

“Babies’ hearts beat faster than ours.”

“Why?”

Darla starts explaining. Of course she does. And I laugh while I’m crying because Tobias is already asking another question and Darla is answering it like nothing in the world could possibly be more important.

Ryan bends his head. His forehead touches mine. Just for a second.

“I love you,” he whispers.

My chest hurts. I close my eyes. “I know.”

Not I love you too. He notices. His forehead leaves mine. Good. I’m still mad. But I don’t let go of his hand until Darla turns off the machine.

Darla leaves the machine on for another few seconds. Maybe for Tobias. Maybe for me. Maybe because nobody in the room is ready for that sound to stop. Then the rapid little heartbeat disappears, and the silence afterward feels enormous.

Darla reaches for a towel. “Okay. Before Tobias begins his second round of interrogation, let’s get you cleaned up.”

Ryan takes the towel from her before she can hand it to me. I look at him. He doesn’t say anything. Neither do I. He just moves beside me and carefully wipes the gel from my stomach. The tenderness of it makes something inside me ache. Because his hands don’t match the boy from lunch. These are the hands I know. Warm. Careful. One of them slides beneath the hem of my shirt to keep it out of the way while the other cleans the last streak of gel from my skin.

Tobias leans around Walter. “Why is it sticky?”

“It’s ultrasound gel,” Darla says.

“What’s it for?”

“It helps the sound waves travel between the probe and Ally’s body.”

Tobias puts one hand against the lower part of my stomach. Way too gently. Like I’m made of glass. His brow furrows. “I don’t feel anything.”

“You won’t yet,” Darla says.

“When will I?”

“Later in the pregnancy, when the baby gets bigger and starts kicking hard enough to feel from the outside.”

His head snaps toward her. “It kicks Ally?”

Darla smiles. “Babies move around.”

“Does it hurt?”

“Sometimes it can be uncomfortable.”

Tobias looks deeply offended on my behalf. “Tell it not to.” He looks back at my stomach. “Don’t kick her.”

I laugh. Ryan does too. Tobias pats me once. Then looks at Ryan. “Can you feel it?”

“Not yet.”

“Do you touch it?”

The room goes quiet for exactly half a second. Ryan, to his credit, doesn’t even blink. “Yeah.”

“All the time?”