Page 177 of Wicked Brutal

Until Darla lifts my shirt enough to expose my stomach. Then everything comes rushing back. Baby. Real baby. Our baby. I look at Ryan. He’s already looking at me. The anger is still there. It hasn’t magically disappeared. But beneath it is something bigger. Fear. Love. Wonder. All the same things twisting through me.

Darla squeezes gel onto my stomach. I jump. “Jesus, that’s cold.”

Tobias immediately leans forward. “Does the baby feel that?”

“No,” Darla says.

She explains. All of it. Where the baby is. How it’s protected. Why it doesn’t feel the cold gel. What the placenta does. Tobias asks if the baby eats my food. Then whether it gets hungry. Then whether it likes pizza. Then whether it can taste pizza. Darla answers every fucking question. Not once does she tell him to be quiet. Not once does she treat him like he’s too little to understand. She just adjusts the explanation until he can.

Then she presses the probe to my stomach. The screen changes. Everything stops. I forget Tobias. Cassandra. Walter. Darla. Ryan. I forget how to breathe. There’s — something. A shape. Tiny. Impossible.

Darla moves the probe slightly. “There.”

My throat closes. “Oh my God.”

Beside me, Ryan doesn’t say anything. I look at him. His eyes are locked on the screen. His entire face is different. No Ryan Harrington from Edgewood. No asshole who threw my notebook on the floor. No boy trying to outthink my father. Just Ryan. Looking at his baby. Our baby.

Tobias whispers, “That’s it? That’s a baby?”

“Yep.”

“Where’s its face?”

She points. “Right here.”

Tobias gets out of his chair. Walter catches the back of his shirt before he can climb directly onto the bed.

“I can’t see.”

“Come here.” Walter lifts him.

Tobias settles against his chest and leans forward. “Is that the head?”

“Yes.”

“That’s a big head.”

I laugh through the tears already running down my face.

Ryan finally looks at me. His eyes are wet. That almost breaks me completely. I reach for his hand without thinking. He takes mine. Immediately. Our fingers lock. I’m still mad at him. Apparently I can be mad while holding his hand.

Darla moves the probe again. “Everything I’m seeing looks exactly the way I want it to.”

Tobias looks between us. “Can we hear it?”

My heart stops all over again. Darla looks at me. Then Ryan.

“Ready?”

No. Absolutely not.

I nod. Ryan does too. Darla makes an adjustment. For half a second, there’s nothing. Then the room fills with sound. Fast. Rhythmic. Impossible. My baby’s heartbeat.

I cover my mouth. Ryan’s hand crushes mine. Nobody speaks. Not even Tobias. The sound fills every corner of the room. Fast-fast-fast-fast-fast. Alive. My baby is alive. Our baby is alive.

I look at Ryan. A tear slips down his cheek. He doesn’t wipe it away. Neither do I. Walter’s hand lands on Ryan’s shoulder. Cassandra is crying openly now. Darla smiles at the screen.

And Tobias — Tobias looks completely fucking awestruck. “That’s its heart?”