Page 14 of It Was Always You

She turned her back on him and folded her arms once again. ‘Didn’t what? I don’t know what you’re talking about.’

She heard him stand and blow out a long breath as if he was trying to calm a rage. When he spoke again, his voice was quiet and controlled. ‘You know exactly what I’m talking about. Tell me you didn’t sleep with him, Lil.’ They had always agreed it was better to wait until you were in love before you gave yourself to someone. Adam was very old-fashioned that way and Lily had always thought it very sweet. She could almost feel his eyes boring into her back.

Her cheeks warmed to the point where they could burst into flames at any second. She had never been able to lie to Adam. Not successfully anyway.

She swung around to face him and narrowed her eyes as anger at his judgemental attitude twisted her insides. ‘Well, Adam, what I can confirm is that there wasn’t any sleeping involved.’ Shutupshutupshutup! Not helping yourself!

He stood and walked over to her, his fists clenched at his sides, and a pained look in his usually warm eyes. ‘You didn’t?’ She remained stoic. He dragged his hands through his hair and groaned as if she had kicked him. ‘Oh shit, Lily, why? What did you do that for? Do you have feelings for him? Seriously? Sodding Pippi Longstocking?’ The pain in his eyes turned to disappointment and he shook his head.

She gritted her teeth. ‘His name is Elliot Longthorne, Adam, and it is none of your business. So I had sex? So what? I enjoyed it,’ she lied. Her words were meant to hurt him as the anger both at herself and Adam bubbled to the surface. ‘It was great, and I’ll be doing a lot more of it with or without your blessing. I’m an adult. Remember? Now if you’re going to stand there being all Judgy Judgerson, then I suggest you sod off out of my room!’ she shouted, pointing to the door.

He shook his head as he turned and walked out, slamming the door behind him.

She let out an angry guttural scream and punched her mattress.

TRACK 6

‘EVERYBODY’S GOT TO LEARN SOMETIME’ (THE KORGIS)

Adam didn’t speak to Lily for over a month after her admission she had slept with Elliot. He had no right to be angry or disappointed, and he knew this when he thought rationally about it. But it didn’t stop the rage from bubbling inside him every time he thought of her giving herself to the rockstar wannabe so freely. What made things worse was that the relationship she had run headlong into fell apart soon after they’d had sex, just like Adam knew it would. He wanted to comfort her, but his stubbornness wouldn’t allow it, and so it fell to Eve to be Lily’s shoulder to cry on. Not that there had actually been any crying apparently.

He met up with Eve to walk back to his room after lectures finished for the day. They reached his uncharacteristically tidy room in the ex-local authority terraced house he shared with three other male students and sat cuddled together on the bed.

‘So… what did she say at lunch?’ he asked, trying his best to sound nonchalant.

Eve sighed and furrowed her brow. ‘I wish you two would just talk, for goodness’ sake. You’re both adults and I shouldn’t have to be your go-between. When I speak to her it’s all “Is Adders still mad? Has he said anything?” And then I come to you and get the same.’ She hit him with a cushion.

Adam huffed. ‘I know, I know. Seriously though, how is she?’

Eve rolled her eyes and placed a hand on his face. ‘She’s angry as hell at you but loves you to bits and hates all this angst between you.’

‘Is she upset about Pippi?’

She pushed his arm. ‘You need to stop calling him that. No, she’s not upset. They parted because… well… look, just speak to her.’

Adam sat upright. ‘Because of what? Please tell me, Eve. You’re worrying me.’

‘Look, she only slept with him to see what it was like. He turned her on and she wanted to try it. But when it came down to it, he wanted a relationship, and… well, she didn’t. Simple as that.’

‘Really? So she ended it?’

She kissed his nose. ‘Pretty much, Adam, yes.’

‘And you believe that?’ Adam couldn’t.

Eve shrugged. ‘Of course I believe her. I have no reason not to. Look, can I ask you something?’

He snuggled into her neck and kissed her. ‘Anything,’ he mumbled.

‘Why are you really so wound up about her sleeping with him?’

He stopped his ministrations and pulled back to gaze into her eyes. He huffed again and ran a hand through his hair. ‘I told her dad I’d watch out for her. I feel like I’ve let him down. She should’ve waited until she was in love. She should’ve let it be special. She deserves that, Evie.’

‘But, Adam, she’s not your responsibility. You need to let her breathe. You can’t protect her forever.’

‘Look, can we please stop talking about her? You and I are what matters here. Not my stubborn-arsed friend.’

He gently caressed her lower lip with his thumb. Leaning in to kiss her, he lowered her back on the bed and deepened the kiss.