Page 37 of Alec

Olivia didn’t know who she meant, but her own misery doubled. “I’m so sorry for bringing this up.”

“Please don’t be, my dear. As it happens I’ve recovered nicely, and I have the consolation of seeing how devoted they are to each other. They’re soulmates, I think, which is wonderful. Truly loving someone means their happiness matters more than your own.” Inga stood. “In any case, don’t be a coward like me. Gather your courage, and let Alec know how much you like him.”

She would never be that brave, she thought. “Would it be okay if for now I just have wild and crazy sex with him?”

“Of course.” The other woman winked. “That’s what I did.”

Olivia thought a great deal about what Inga had said as she carried her things through the passages to Alec’s room in the stronghold. On the way there she passed by the clan’s senior chieftain, Darro, who greeted her with his usual friendliness.

“Might I aid you, Mistress Gibson?” he asked as he fell into step with her.

“It’s okay, I’m only changing rooms.” She wondered if Darro knew who Inga had fallen in love with, but as the chatelaine hadn’t volunteered the information she decided not to ask. “Are you still searching for whatever hurt Elspeth?”

He nodded. “We’ve no’ yet found the cause, but ’twill take near a moon to search the whole of the stronghold. Should you notice something amiss, please tell one of the men—or come and find me in the great hall, or the laird’s chamber.”

“Something odd happened the other day when I came in from working in the gardens,” Olivia said, and described walking through the pocket of cold air in the passage that ran parallel to the kitchens. “I thought maybe it was just a draft, but I’ve never experienced that chill anywhere else in the castle.”

“I shall go there and see if ’tis related to Elspeth’s trouble,” Darro told her, and touched her shoulder. “My thanks, Mistress.”

They parted ways at the next corner, and Olivia had only one more hall to walk before she reached the war master’s room. She assumed he would be off working and walked inside, only to stop short as she saw Alec pushing a large bed frame into the corner where his straw ticking had lain on the floor.

“What are you doing?” she asked as she set down her bundle and went to help him.

“I wished to give you a comfortable bed.” He nodded toward the old ticking, which he’d wedged between the frame and the wall. “I shall sleep there.”

“I don’t need a bed like this.” Since he looked as if he wanted to argue the point she added, “I slept on the floor a lot when I was a child. It doesn’t bother me.”

“’Tis even more reason to provide you with a decent bed.” He gave the frame one last shove that was so hard it banged into the wall and made her jump. “Forgive me. My temper, ’tis never calm and amiable as Darro’s.”

He sounded sulky and almost jealous, as if he knew she’d just been speaking to the chieftain.

“Are you spying on me now, Alec?” She waited for him to answer, and when he didn’t she picked up her things. “Fine. You can do whatever you like. I’m going back to Mrs. Holmes’s room.”

“I didnae intend to spy,” he said before she reached the door. “I came to collect you and your belongings and saw you with Darro. He put his hand on you. Do you care for him?”

He sounded sulky and resentful, as if he expected her to say she did.

“I think he’s a nice man. All of your brothers seem to be.” She turned around and found him only a few inches away from her. “Nothing happened between us. It was completely innocent.”

“Innocent, when he touches you so easily.” His eyes narrowed. “You gave him your smile when he did. You enjoyed it. Tell me the truth.”

“What are you talking about?” He could not be jealous of her with the chieftain, but it seemed he was. “You don’t want me talking to any other man, is that it? You want to lock me in here? You can, if you want.”

A flicker of shock passed over his handsome features. “Olivia, I should never do such.”

She hardly heard him. “It’s okay, it’s fine. Like I said, I don’t need the bed. I can go a long time sleeping on the floor. I don’t need to eat, either. Just give me a bucket of water and another empty one I can use for nature’s calls. You can lock me up like that for days if you want. Even weeks. I’m used to that.”

“Olivia, no.” He looked pale and sick now. “Who did that to you?”

“The woman who raised me.” She’d never spoken about this with anyone except her therapist, and she had no idea why she was telling him. “It was how she punished me. She never hit me or shouted at me when she got angry, which was often. She just withheld food. I was small before I came here because I was regularly starved for most of my childhood.”

Alec reached out, but before he touched her he dropped his hand. “Why didnae anyone stop her from treating you so wretchedly?”

“No one knew. She home schooled me, and I wasn’t allowed to go outside or speak to anyone but her. The only time I left was when I went with her to church, and she made sure I never spoke to anyone there.” The sourness she had fought hard to rid herself of came back for a moment, as if she’d taken a huge bite of an unripe persimmon. “I didn’t even know what she did was wrong until after she died and I took a physical for college. At seventeen I was prediabetic with high blood pressure. My leg bones had bowed because I had rickets from being locked indoors for so long. The doctor said without treatment I probably wouldn’t live past forty, either.”

“As a child you reckoned what she did, ’twas deserved for your faults,” he muttered. “Only ’twas theirs.”

Olivia took a step closer. “That’s why you’re doing this. You already guessed I’d been abused as a kid. Did something like that happen to you?” When he didn’t reply she said, “Alec, some good people helped me recover from what she did to me. The physical effects of being starved and kept locked inside stunted my growth and gave me some health problems, but I did survive. I wouldn’t let anyone hurt me like that again. I’ll always fight them.”

“Aye, so you would.” He turned away from her. “You should return to the chatelaine’s room, for I reckon I shall only cause you more misery.”

His voice sounded so strained she could barely make out what he was saying. That was why she walked up to him and put her arms around his waist.

“I’d rather stay with you. I like being with you.” She had to be honest, so she added, “I’m tired of all the drama, though. I had seventeen years of that and worse. Can we make this room a drama-free zone?”

Alec turned around and hugged her. “Aye, so we shall.”