Page 14 of Absolution

"In all the photos they've shown me, even Boone's, they have a ton of photos everywhere. The old me on display for this me," I pound my chest as it tightens. "to fail to remember the picture or the particular moment. Something to remind us all, I'm not the son they used to have. I'm what's leftover, and even I recognize it's not enough."

"What brought you to this conclusion? I know your family; they love you and being present with them will mean more than any memory before now. Besides, making new ones is more important." His deepened insight of me helps him to discern every damn thing I want to hide from the rest of the world.

I distract myself by picking at the imaginary lint on my pants. "There's a chance, they'll not want to get to know this me. What then?"

"Who are you trying to fool? Your family loves you and accepts you as you are, and from what I can tell about them, they always have. You're the one afraid of accepting who you are, and that fear drives you in not wanting to remember who you were. Or who you may become."

I fight to steady my breathing, as anxiety grabs me and holds me hostage for longer than I can allow. "Have you considered going back may cause me to have flashbacks or cause me to completely lose my grip on all reality?"

"Of course, I have Creed. I'm your friend first, but as your doctor, I think of nothing else. You tend to forget; you're choosing to stay where you are. Until you try to move past, you'll never know what'll happen."

I blanch at his pointed words. "Are you saying I'm using this as an excuse?"

"No, I would never trivialize your health in such a way. My job is to help you move forward and to manage what's in your best interest to do so. Eighteen months ago, I would've never suggested for you to go home. The trauma from being thrust into a world your body itself has blocked could've been detrimental. But you're a different man now, you've healed from your physical injuries, and I'm hoping we can help you move on from here." His brows knit, probably mirroring mine as I let his words sink deeper.

"I'll think about it." I pat my thigh for Doc to join me by the door. "Give me a few days, I'll hit you up later."

He releases a heavy sigh. "You know where to find me."

I practically bolt from his office. Yes, he more than touched a nerve, but as he reminded me, that's what he's here for, whether or not I like it. I need a distraction, and I spot one ahead, Liam, as he walks out into the hall after visiting with Aaron.

"Hey, you leaving already?"

He turns, throwing up his hand. "I'm going to the office; I need to finish up some paperwork."

"Mind if I tag along, it's been a minute since I've seen everyone."

He slaps me on the back, grinning. "Absolutely! Let's go bug the shit out of Mark."

I follow him from the building and on to Cole Securities. Once I'm parked, I grab Doc and head in. The place is busy as usual, sending my pulse racing. They're always moving, ready for the next mission. Their energy excites me like nothing else.

From the time I returned stateside, this place has been home to me. Liam's wife Lee helped me to find the right training, so I could work at the veteran's center. This group is one big family, and I'm proud to be one of them. Besides, they'll never let me forget.

"Duckling!" I wince as Mark punches me in the arm as I round the corner. "Pansy ass, you need to get back on the course."

"I might be, but Charlie would still do me!" I dodge his next swing with a smile as I do. All I need to do is mention his wife, and he rises to the occasion—every damn time.

Quinn falls back in his chair, laughing his ass off. "I don't know what's better, his face, or your confidence!"

"I'm not sure either, why don't you ask Ashton, I guarantee she can tell you." I wink as I pass him by looking for Lee.

"In your dreams, Hatch." He flips me off while Mark is doubled over, cracking up at our exchange. The first thing I learned with this bunch is they love hard; the second was they will bust your ass every chance they can.

"No, that would be in your wife's wet ones," I smirk, knowing I just dropped the bomb on both of them. I turn the next corner and run into the one person I was hoping to see.

"You realize they're going to beat you down one day, right?" Lee giggles as I wrap her in my arms.

I catch a glimpse of Liam over her shoulder, narrowing his eyes at me. "Maybe, but I doubt you'll let them."

"Keep your chicken lips off my wife, Hatch." Liam grunts as I press them to her cheek.

"Don't you worry, they're all just jealous." She squeezes me tight before letting me go.

I half shrug. "They'll get over it."

"I'm happy to see you. Everything good with you?" I trail behind as she walks back toward her office.

"Yeah, I'm alright." She side-eyes me. "Tough session. I needed a distraction."