Page 46 of Firefly Embers

She rolled her eyes as she came to stand between my knees, taking my hands tightly in hers.

“I came over here because I had a feeling you were going to try to leave without a proper goodbye.”

“I said my goodbyes yesterday. I’m trying to make this as painless as possible for everyone involved.”

She released one of my hands, tilting my chin up to look at her. The moon highlighted her raven hair, and I didn’t miss the tears streaming down her cheeks that mirrored my own.

“Wade, nothing about this is going to be painless. It’s going to hurt like hell. But sometimes you need to walk through fire to come out the other side.”

Her thumb traced over the scruff on my chin before she softly leaned down, pulling my head to rest between her breasts and resting her cheek on top of my head. She wound her arms around my shoulders and held me gently against her, letting her strength pour into me.

“She’d be proud of you. No matter how much you tell yourself that you’re not the man she raised. You are. It takes a strong man, especially a cowboy, to admit that he needs help. Penny Daniels raised two of the strongest men I know, and she would be damn proud of you if she were standing here today.”

I could feel the tears soaking through her shirt as her words hit their mark. She held me to her until the tear tracks dried, leaving a tightness across my cheeks.

When my breathing had finally evened out, I leaned back and pulled her down for a soft kiss.

“Walk me to the truck?” I asked against her soft lips, and I could feel the small tilt of a smile as she rewarded me with another gentle kiss.

We walked hand in hand back to the big house, the silence neither oppressive nor stilted as we both prepared for the goodbye we didn’t want but knew needed to happen. I knew that neither of us wanted to make a scene, so as I opened the door to my truck, readying myself to take off, I turned around and gathered her into a tight hug.

I felt the tension in her shoulders relax as she melted into my embrace. Pulling back slightly, I cupped the side of her neck and pulled her in for a deep kiss. There was nothing hurried about the languid strokes of our tongues as we poured our emotions into each other.

Ray was the first to pull back, pressing one last soft kiss to my swollen lips as she pushed on my chest to extricate herself from my hold. I stole one last peck and shot her a small smile as I climbed up into the truck.

My engine roared to life as I turned the key, putting the address of the treatment center into the navigation. Two hours. It would take two hours to get to where I was hopeful my new beginning waited.

As I backed out of the makeshift parking lot beside the house and turned toward the exit of the ranch, I chanced a glance in the rearview mirror. Ray stood on the porch, leaning against the same post I had been earlier, as she raised a hand in a soft wave, tears shining on her cheeks.

I heaved one gigantic sigh as I crossed under the D&D Ranch sign and headed toward healing the parts of me that were so heavily broken.

RAY

Watching Wade drive away from the ranch nearly broke me.

I knew how important it was for him to get the help he so desperately needed, and I was so proud of him for accepting the spot the treatment center had available. But even knowing that it was what was best for him, and in the long run for me, didn’t make it hurt any less.

There had been very few times over the seventeen years of our friendship that we had spent long stints apart. Even when he was making it big on the rodeo circuit, he made time to send me a text or get in a quick call after the event. Most of the time, if I could swing it, I would travel with him in support.

Max and Pops were both busy trying to keep the ranch going, and taking off a weekend to go watch a small-town rodeo qualifier wasn’t something they had the luxury of being able to do.

I dutifully stood in ‌many sets of bleachers, screaming until my throat was raw and my voice was gone, cheering enough for him to feel the love of every single person who couldn’t be beside me. I did my best to make sure he never felt the loss of those who hadn’t been able to be there in person.

As I watched him drive away, I let the tears fall for all the moments we’d had to hold each other up. I let the tears fall for the broken man who had done everything in his power to be everything for everybody, often to his own detriment. I cried for the boy whose mother was taken far too soon, even if he had been well into adulthood when it had happened, knowing personally how painful that loss is.

The rickety porch swing on the side of the wraparound porch creaked in the gentle breeze, and I chuckled softly to myself. The memory of when Ma begged Pops to put that swing up played through my mind.

She had wanted somewhere she could sit and watch as the ranch life passed by around her. He had been willing to do anything and everything for that woman.

Every single night, without fail, she could be found sitting on that porch swing, a cup of chai tea in one hand and a book in the other.

I remember the first time Wade brought me over to the house and I met Penny Daniels. She’d been sitting right there on that same porch swing as she so easily folded me into their family, no questions asked.

Wade and I walked toward the big house, heading to grab something before we tacked up the horses for our ride. We had spent the afternoon skipping rocks out at the cove and were going to the stables for our weekly trail time. Wade had been teaching me all the ins and outs of being a cowboy and, unfortunately for my butt, that included riding a horse. I hadn’t quite gotten my horse legs yet and still ended up hurting for a couple of days after each ride. Honestly, I wasn’t much good at anything cowboy-related, but it gave me uninterrupted time with Wade.

“I’ll be right back. I’ve just gotta grab a couple of things, and we’ll be good to go,” he called behind him as we neared the steps of the wraparound front porch.

I stood awkwardly at the bottom of the stairs with my hands pushed into the back pockets of my jeans. Kicking at the dirt, I waited patiently while Wade took forever grabbing whatever was so important that he had to stop at the house before our ride.