Page 28 of A Capo’s Love: Featuring A Don’s Love

I placed the phone on speaker and sat it on my thigh.

“Renity, I’m getting ready to meet with Balani, and I’m trying to enjoy my watermelon, not hear about…” I let my words trail off.

“Nah gon’ and finish what you was about to say,” she urged.

I remained silent, not caring if she could hear me smacking on my juicy watermelon as my response.

“I was calling to check on my godbaby.” She fake cooed.

I rolled my eyes because I never gave Serenity that title. I never planned on making anyone my daughter’s godmom or dad. Leave it to her and Balani, they already claimed it though.

“My baby is fine, Renity…How are you?” I rolled my eyes, gearing up for her theatrics.

“I’m good,” her voice cracked. “Could be better if you’d come out here or let me come out there to see you. I miss you a lot,” she confessed.

I sighed because this was the same conversation we had every week. I took another piece of watermelon out the bag and quickly stuffed my mouth, opting out of saying anything again.

“I miss Royal too, real bad…”

There it was… the real nature of her call.

“I think he’s really done with me this time, and it’s breaking my fucking heart, Nova.”

I shifted my weight then pulled one leg under my thigh. I really didn’t know what she expected me to say. Serenity constantly place herself in dumb ass positions then loved to turn around and cry about it, which made no sense at all to me.

“I miss him just popping up, bringing me food and spending time with me. Besides you, I feel like he’s my best friend. He just doesn’t understand how much I love being who I am.”

“And what is that?” I asked, frowning.

“A successful hoe.”

I could hear the smile in her voice. All I could do was shake my head.

“He knows you a hoe, he was your number one trick,” I paused to swallow my fruit. “I don’t take Roy as a delusional nigga.” I kept it real.

One thing I refused to do was sugarcoat anything with Serenity by telling her what her silly ass wanted to hear.

“You miss him but don’t want a relationship. You love the way he treats you. He overlooks all the imperfections you have. Plus, he doesn’t treat you how the average paid trick treats you. Y’all have bonded so much that when he asked for more, you agreed like a dummy then failed him…” I paused, making sure my first point was made before continuing.

“Like an idiot, the nigga forgave you over and over for playing right in his face. I told you two months ago when you said you was catching feelings for him that you could be the nigga’s personal hoe. Take payments, love on him, and even get him on board with doing OnlyFans with you since you love recording yourself fucking for money.”

I lowkey cringed from how harsh my words sounded then shrugged them off since they were the truth.

“La’Nova,” she uttered in a shaky tone.

“La’Nova my ass.” I cocked my head to the side as if she was in front of me.

“This is the never-ending rollercoaster of you and Roy’s bullshit… but this last time was worse. You promised him some shit you knew you would fall through on. I don’t blame him if he’s really done with you. That man trusts you out of all people through his mourning… you were a safe space for him that he actually put hopefulness in.” I shook my head.

Nobody deserves to be played with… I thought to myself, feeling a sharp pain shoot through my chest. I sort of sounded contradicting in the moment, so I mentally called myself out on the shit that I pulled with Luca after our heart to heart.

“I don’t want nothing heavy, I’m good at fucking shit up… I just wanted to keep what felt real with me and Royal.” She huffed into the phone.

“I don’t know, Nova, he just felt like somewhere I could rest comfortably at. I felt secure with him and our friendship. He makes me feel special just from listening to him talk. Like wow, he really trusts me enough to just talk and tell me the shit that’s bothering him. I just don’t want to be the one to further hurt him when I know that’s exactly what I’ll do… I’m selfish as fuck, and I don’t think it’s something I’ll ever overcome.”

The first part of what she said landed in my chest deeper than I expected. I knew exactly what it felt like to feel like a person was somewhere you could rest comfortably at while feeling super secure, protected, and seen. Luca for me was a quiet strength and a safe silence at times that scared me and comforted me at the same time.

Damn, I miss him… I thought, already hating where my mind was headed. I didn’t need these types of emotions attacking me right now. Which is why I didn’t want to answer Serenity’s call in the first place.