Page 27 of Guarding Glenda

Glenda

I was so tired of all of them talking about me like I wasn’t there. And how dare they bring up Reggie? Was he perfect? No. But none of them were. He was just a biker living the club life.

“Sorry about that. Fucking men,” Linny said as she brought a fresh cup of coffee to me out back. “I love Bama but I swear, you can’t have that much testosterone in a room together without a pissing match. I’m shocked more fights don’t break out at the clubhouse. I told Bama he could help Leigh clean up their mess, because I’m not.”

Nodding, I sipped the hot drink and stared out at the yard. Bruce had followed her outside but went down the steps to sniff around.

“So, what did he mean?”

“Huh? Who knows,” I said, still looking out at the yard. It was still before lunchtime and it was an overcast day. Perfect day to sit and do nothing. Instead, I’d agreed to check out a support group since Linny said she’d go, too.

I knew deep down I needed it, but it was hard to face things. Therapy wasn’t soft. It wasn’t cute. It wasn’t fun. It was raw and dark. It was painstaking and exposing.

“Maybe this is a bad idea,” I blurted, setting the mug down. Linny’s mouth opened, but I put my hand up and cut her off. “No, listen. You didn’t even want to go. You’re perfectly fine. And so what if I’m having a few nightmares. Who wouldn’t after that?”

She rolled her eyes. “I don’t know if you can say I’m perfectly fine. Am I making it? Sure. Having Bama, you, and the girls has been eye opening for me. I knew it was bad but not how bad until I saw good. But I still have a lot of shit to unpack. And you do, too.”

Leaning back in the chair, I looked to the yard again. “I’m not sure I’m ready to face it all.”

“Honestly, until Allie pushed me so hard that night I ran into her after that asshole busted me up, I hadn’t been ready to face anything. I knew my life was sad and messed up. I knew I didn’t want that for Sofie, but I was stuck. I wasn’t ready to hear her, either. But I’m so glad I gave her a chance to show me a way out.”

“I’m safe though. I have the club. I have you,” I said, pointing at her. “Sofie.”

“Leigh.”

Rolling my eyes, I shook my head. “You don’t understand.”

“Help me understand. I know you won’t like this, but he’s right. There are three sides to every story, and you haven’t really even told me yours. You said it was his fault, but how?”

My jaw tightened and I blew out a deep sigh.

“Fine. We’ll talk about it at therapy.”

“It’s not even real therapy. It’s a group of survivors rambling about their own traumatic stuff,” I said before picking up my coffee mug.

“There’s a licensed therapist in attendance and the website said they help guide the discussion. Pretty sure that’s still therapy.”

“I don’t love you for your logic,” I said with a chuckle. “Fine, we’ll go.”

We finished our coffee, Bama had come to say goodbye, and Leigh poked his head out the back door, whistling. “C’mon, Bruce.”

Bruce moaned, then hurried up the steps and went inside. We both stood and followed him in. I did everything possible to avoid brushing against Leigh or looking at him.

I was pissed at him. But also trying not to dissect what he said.

We headed out the front after he put Bruce in a giant crate and Linny helped me down the stairs. It was the first time I tried steps since I’d been here. Leigh was walking backwards down the steps, but I still looked everywhere but at him. The way he looked at me made my skin crawl… or got under it. I still couldn’t decide which was worse.

We finally made it to the bottom of the steps in one piece and I managed to walk to the truck by myself. It was an extended cab, so I was not sitting in the front. He’d walked to the passenger side to open the door, but I pulled the back door on the driver’s side and told Linny to push me up.

There was a side step but it was still high off the ground for me. Climbing in didn’t hurt, but was a little uncomfortable. I accidentally looked up as I was pulling myself up with the oh-shit handle and locked eyes with Leigh. He glared but didn’t say anything. Instead, he waited until Linny came around the other side and she told him she’d sit with me; he slammed the door, then walked around to the driver’s side.

She and I glanced at each other, and she shrugged as he started the engine and turned the music up.

As we rode towards the rec center that hosted the group session, I tensed. Sitting on Leigh’s back deck this week had been relaxing and refreshing. Even stepping out to the front yard was a nice change after not getting around much for days. Plus, Leigh had a nice big yard, and it was really secluded.

But now, something was unsettling and my stomach was knotting, my muscles tightening.

Linny grabbed my hand but I wasn’t expecting it and I flinched. She didn’t let go, though. Instead, she squeezed tighter.