Page 115 of I’m Dreaming of a New York Christmas

‘Oh,’ Anneka said. ‘So when I called the wedding venue…?’

‘Yeah, that’s when he found out.’

‘You’re still ashamed of us, then,’ Mum stated.

‘No! I’ve never been ashamed of you. I was just so ashamed of myself when he found out I’d lied. I totally should have told him – and I was planning to. It’s just… a lot to explain to strangers isn’t it – us? Our family?’

‘What makes you think you owe anyone any explanations about anything?’ Mum asked, her voice getting louder and her face scrunching up in confusion. ‘We’re all here, we all exist, and that’s all that matters.’

I inhaled a lungful of air as Mum’s words diffused through my mind. She was right, of course. I’d never been ashamed of my family, but I had been hung up on its unique… structure for far too long. As I breathed out, I allowed this much more straightforward world view take hold.

‘Thank you, Mum,’ I said, squeezing one of her hands. She didn’t move it.

‘Whatever for?’ she asked.

‘For being unashamedly you, as well. I learned from the best.’

‘It’s the only way I know how to live, Flo. Always has been, always will be.’

I was beginning to see that me, Mum and Anneka had way more in common than I had ever dared to realise. Perhaps the main thing we didn’t have in common was that I’d never learned to accept them for exactly who they were in the same way they’d unconditionally accepted – and loved – me, from the very moment I was born.

‘So how did you leave it with him before you came to the hospital?’ Anneka asked, bringing me back to the room.

‘I told him not to contact me again.’

‘Jeez, Flora, you don’t half make things complicated! First you tie yourself up in knots by inventing a story about travelling to New York alone—’

‘There wasn’t any point in telling him to begin with – I didn’t even think I’d see him again—’

‘Shh, Flora! But you did see him again. And you want to stay in touch with him, right?’ Anneka gently tipped my chin up with her long fingers and stared into my eyes.

I nodded as more tears escaped. ‘I feel… free with him, Anneka. I can’t remember the last time I had so much spontaneous fun. Well, apart from with you guys, this week.’

‘Oh, Flora, come here.’ Anneka pulled me towards her for a hug and, after a few seconds, Mum joined us, too, pulling the covers back over us.

This was the most physical contact the three of us had had together for as long as I could remember. As we clutched each other, I thought more about what they’d said about freedom. I was fast coming to understand that feeling free with someone was a two-way street, and the reason I’d never felt fully myself around Mum and Anneka was because neither of them had ever opened up to me in return. I hoped tonight’s conversation would be the first of many – it felt like it might be, especially since Mum had instigated it. But my thoughts about the future of my freaky little family – and our rare moment of affection – were quickly interrupted by a firm knock on the door.

Chapter 24

I opened the door, half-hoping Ethan would be on the other side of it. Instead, I was greeted by the sight of a stern-looking, red-faced man wearing a Christmas jumper and slippers.

‘I’m Mr Bone, the hotel manager; I’m afraid I’m going to have to ask you all to leave.’

‘Mr Bone?!’ Anneka said with a snort, missing the essence of the manager’s message completely.

‘Anneka!’ I spoke through gritted teeth, shooting her a look.

‘I’m sorry, can you repeat that?’ I asked, turning back towards the manager, my eyes squinting as they tried to adjust to the bright light of the corridor.

‘Like I said, you need to leave. You’ve quite obviously breached our terms and conditions by over-occupying this room.’ His gaze shifted to the bed, from which Mum and Anneka had the audacity to wave. ‘And I also understand a Mrs Jennifer Bell has yet to sign the waiver form related to the health and safety incident earlier?’ he added.

‘Hey, that’s my mum you’re talking about,’ I said, the firmness of my voice taking us all by surprise. ‘She was really sick.’

Mum coughed dramatically, as if to back me up.

‘With all due respect, it seems like she was in and out of hospital in record time,’ he said, twiddling one of his incredibly long eyebrows like he was a TV detective trying to intimidate a potential suspect.

‘Urgh, just give me the damn form; I’ll sign it,’ Mum said. I passed her the crumpled sheet of paper from the haphazard pile of medicine on the desk.