Page 65 of Craving Sin

By the time I force myself back into my house, I can hardly hold myself up. I lock the door—something I make sure to do even during the day when I’m home—then go straight for the shower, turning it on before tugging off my sweat-drenched clothes.

Has Rian decided to buy a concert hall, I wonder as I stand under the spray. Probably not. We’ve only been home a few days, and I’m sure Boston’s Irish mob boss has a lot to do. Have they found the men who tried to kill him? Has Rian killed them? And if so, how do I feel about that?

Shitty, of course. I don’t want them to die. I don’t want anyone to die, but they did try to kill Rian, and he’s right, if he had let them, they would have killed me that day too.

I scrub my skin as though the pain will distract me from my obsessive thoughts about him, wash up, and then dry off.

I pull on a pair of boxer briefs, turn out the lights, and climb into bed, looking up toward the dark ceiling and the dim slashes of light that shine across it through the blinds from the light post outside.

I hear nothing except my own breathing, but suddenly, the feeling of being watched is there again, this time pressing against me like a finger on a bruise, little pulses echoing out from the pressure.

My heart lurches into my throat. I swear the darkness feels like it moves—shifts—and I reach over for my cell on the nightstand when I get a whiff of bourbon and vanilla and am immediately filled with hope.

“Rian?” I say into the dark room, feeling like an idiot. How many times am I going to call his name, knowing he’s not there? How could I have let myself fall in love with this man? “Christ, why can’t I get you out of my head? Why can’t I stop missing you?”

The sharp inhalation of breath is impossible to miss.

He’s here. In this room with me right now. I know he is. I smell him, feel him, crave him.

I can’t hold back the words, and the thing is, I don’t want to. “Fuck me,” I say into the shadowy space. “Fuck me. Show me how much you want me. Make me feel you, Rian.”

I catch movement in my periphery, looking over just as Rian steps up to the side of the bed, right in the line of the shafts of light from the window. He’s wearing slacks and a button-up shirt, and I wonder if he ever just lounges around in jeans and a tee.

He’s breathing heavily, gaze intense, pinning me to the mattress, holding me down with just his stare. And then he’s tearing his shirt off, buttons ripping free, shooting in every different direction.

Rian climbs on top of me, my legs immediately widening so I can cradle his body between them. He’s holding himself up on his forearms, looking down at me, and for the first time since being in the forest, I don’t feel alone. “Your shoulder,” is the first thing that falls from my lips.

“Fuck my shoulder.” The second the words are free, he sears my mouth with his, kissing me hard and almost angrily, like he doesn’t want to want this, want me as much as he does. Neither of us should, but that doesn’t stop the undeniable pull between us.

I slide my hands down his naked, muscular back, grab his ass, and wish he had taken the time to remove his pants too. I pull him tighter against me, Rian rutting his cock along mine, while devouring my mouth like he’s been starving for me, like the only way for him to survive is for his tongue to be buried deep in my mouth.

My body relaxes, and I realize how tight and tense I’ve been, like I’ve been on edge all the time because I didn’t know where he was or what he was thinking or if I would ever see him again. But now he’s here, in my room, in my bed, and I feel like he’s trying to consume me, and there’s not a part of me that doesn’t want him to do just that.

I curse when his mouth pulls away from mine, but Rian just chuckles, then buries his face into my throat, kissing and licking the skin there. “Can’t stop thinking about you,” he admits. “It’s been killing me to stay away.”

His lips keep sliding down until his tongue latches on to one of my nipples. I arch forward when Rian tugs it with his teeth. “Does my pretty thing like that?” he asks, pulling it again before giving his attention to my left nipple and doing the same thing there.

“Yes. So much. I can’t stop thinking about you either. I can’t stop wanting you.”

“Don’t stop,” comes out of his mouth in quiet, heavy words that hang between us, but then his mouth is on me again, kissing down my body, not stopping until he’s at the edge of my underwear and all thought has melted from my brain.

Rian sits back on his heels, tugging the edges of my underwear. He only gets them halfway down my thighs before he bends forward, sucking my straining cock into his mouth. I almost spurt my load right then. The power I feel, how desired I feel when this man has his mouth around my dick, is indescribable.

He takes me as deep as he can, bobbing his mouth on me. My hands tangle in his hair, pulling—needy sounds falling from my lips.

This is only the second time he’s done this. I am the only man he’s done it to, yet he’s trying to swallow my cock like it’s his form of sustenance, like if he doesn’t have it, all hope is lost.

It’s a potent drug, one I never thought I would need, but then I never knew being wanted this way was even a possibility for me.

My balls draw up as I fight off my orgasm, unwilling to come this way and for this to end…for Rian to leave again.

“Stop. Fuck, you have to stop.” Rian immediately pulls back, his eyes looking wild in the limited light. “I want you inside me when I come. I want it both in me and on me, Rian, and I want to see you.”

He pauses as though unsure, then leans over to the side, turning on the lamp on my nightstand.

“I was just going to fuck you in the dark and leave. It would be easier that way, but Christ, I want to see you too.” I’ve never heard this kind of ragged edge to his voice before, and as much as I don’t want him to hurt, there’s a comfort in knowing I’m not going through this alone—that I’m not the only one who needs this fiercely.

“I missed you too,” I say, and he gives me what almost looks like a shy smile. “Now, take off your clothes.”