Page 20 of Love, Lies, and Whiskey

“It was awful for both of us. I blamed myself. Josh and I were fighting a lot back then, and he’d gone out partying and was hit when he was crossing a street. If he hadn’t married me, he may never have started partying and maybe he’d still be alive.”

Seeley took her hand in his. “You can’t take on that responsibility. He made a choice to marry you. Nobody said it would be easy.”

“I know, but still.”

“How did Lucas handle it?”

“He had a hard time letting me out of his sight, which was understandable. The older couple who owned the farm where we lived were wonderful. They referred us to a grief counselor. It took a long time to find our new normal after that, but we made it. Eventually I finished vet school, and thanks to you pushing me that summer to believe in myself, I became a vet instead of a vet tech.”

“All I did was point out the obvious. You were always impressive as hell, darlin’. I knew you were strong, but this…” He shook his head. “You’ve lost your family, your husband, your grandmother, and you believed awful things about me for years. It’s hard to believe you’re still standing, much less raised our son on your own and managed to make a career for yourself.”

“For the longest time, I wondered if the pain of my parents’ betrayal, and the pain of yours, would ever go away,” she confessed. “But years of therapy helped me accept who my parents are and move past it. The strange thing is, therapy didn’t do a damn thing to help me move past my feelings for you.”

He leaned forward again, putting his hands on her outer thighs, bringing their faces closer together. “What we have has always been too big to deny.”

Her pulse quickened, his declaration filling the space between them like a living, breathing entity, the truth ensnaring them like a lasso, binding them together. His gaze bored into her, as if he were daring her to refute his claim.

She couldn’t refute the obvious.

She wanted to climb into his lap, to be wrapped in the safety of his arms again. Not that she needed protecting. She hadn’t needed that in years. It was the comfort of him she longed for. That feeling she’d never found in anyone else’s arms.

But this wasn’t the time to be selfish. The only person that mattered right now was Lucas, and that’s what she focused on.

“There’s no denying our chemistry.” She reached for her wineglass, breaking their connection, and went for levity. “I think I’m going to need a lot more therapy now.”

THERE WERE SO many things Doc wanted to know about her and Lucas, but it had been an emotional night, and he didn’t want to overwhelm her any more than he already had. So he bit back the questions about her that still remained and focused on their son.

“The most important thing is making sure Lucas gets through this without totally screwing him up for the rest of his life. Maybe we should talk to my mother or another therapist about the best way to handle this. I don’t want to lie to him. There’s been enough deceit already.”

“I agree,” she said, glad he was putting Lucas, and honesty, first. “But I think I can handle talking to him.”

“Do you want me to be there when you do it?”

“No,” she said quickly. “I don’t know how he’s going to react, and he’s not exactly your biggest fan at the moment.”

“Right.” He’d cursed himself a hundred times for being an asshole. “I’m going to make that up to both of you. If you change your mind or want to talk to someone about it, let me know.”

“I will.”

Seeley finished his beer and set the bottle down. “Can you tell me about him? What’s he like? What grade is he in? Is he a good kid?”

“He’s an amazing kid.” Her smile reached her eyes. “He’s funny and incredibly smart and compassionate, and he’s a good person, Seeley. He likes working with his hands and figuring things out. From the time he was little, if something broke, he’d get his plastic tools and try to fix it. And he loves horses. He’s been riding since he was little, when we moved to the farm, and if he’s ever in a bad mood, a few hours with the horses usually perks him up.”

“Like a certain girl I used to know.”

She smiled.

“What about the move? When did you get here, and how did Lucas handle it? It couldn’t have been easy at his age.”

“We moved at the beginning of June, right after his school year ended. Leaving his friends was hard on him. He spent so much time in the barn the first few weeks, I was worried he’d start sleeping there. But he settled in. He got his learner’s permit this summer, which he’s really excited about. I, on the other hand, am terrified every time I take him driving.”

“Is he a good driver?”

“Yeah, he’s careful. He loves old cars, and he has some respect for vehicles, which is good.”

“And school? You said he’s smart, but does he like it?”

“As much as teens can like school, I guess. He just started his sophomore year, and he’s making friends.”