Page 54 of Unraveled

“That’s not an answer to my question, gorgeous. If I could be there with you, would you wish I was?”

“You’re on the Eastside at the jobsite, and I’ll be fine.”

“I’m taking your avoidance to my second question as a maybe.”

“Kellan, I recognize how much this house renovation means to your business. And this is only the first of many appointments. You can’t hold my hand through everything.” And I couldn’t go and get used to him holding it.

“But what if I want to? What if I told you that on the off chance you’d be hit with first-time jitters, I drove to the hospital and am here right now?”

My gaze searched the massive lobby and spotted him standing on the far side of the room near the elevators for the oncology floor. “Really?”

He nodded, giving me a megawatt smile and hanging up his phone.

My footsteps took me closer to him, while the entire room faded away. It was as if he caused the temperature to spike and everyone else to cease to exist.

“Hi,” I greeted on a whisper, emotion clogging my throat.

“Hi.”

“You’re supposed to be at work.”

“I couldn’t stop thinking about you. I know you said you’re not nervous, but hell, I am. And I didn’t want to spend the day not knowing what you’re going through and if you’d wish I was here with you.”

Admittedly, I’d experienced a sense of déjà vu when I’d walked into the building. I’d told my family and Kellan that I’d be fine exactly the way I’d told Chad I’d be fine the day I’d gone in for the results of my biopsy. He hadn’t been there for me, yet here was Kellan in case I’d changed my mind. “I lied. Or at least I convinced myself I didn’t need anyone. When I walked through the doors, I started to feel anxious.”

“And now?”

“I felt better the moment I laid eyes on you.” It might scare me, but it was the truth.

His kiss was quick. “Right back at you. I was feeling anxious, too. Look, I can leave now, or I can see you get started here? If you get sick of me, you can kick me out.”

Although he’d shown up unannounced, I appreciated he was still giving me a choice. “You have a lot of other things—”

He cut me off. “I don’t. You. I have you on my mind today. If anything, you’re saving me the pain of hitting my thumb with a hammer or sawing off a finger because I’d be so distracted thinking about you.”

I had to swallow my emotions at the thoughtfulness of this man. He’d come into my life at the most unexpected time and yet brought me such unbelievable joy and hope for the future. “I’d hate for you to lose any of your talented fingers.”

“You and me both.”

And because worrying about his work was partially a diversion for my real worry, I blurted it out. “I don’t know if I want you seeing me like this.”

“Why not?”

“So many reasons.” Most of which I couldn’t begin to talk about now. The least of which was that I knew I wouldn’t be a good patient. I wouldn’t be that woman ready to do the walks for cancer or who tattooed a perfect pink ribbon on her body. I wasn’t sure if I was ready to let him see that side of me.

“Give me one.”

“Because this is about as unsexy as it gets. And having you witness it—” I searched for the right words.

“Leaves you feeling vulnerable?” he finished.

My head nodded yes. “It’s too much reality.”

I didn’t expect him to flash me a slow, lazy, panty-dropping grin. “Don’t you know reality is where the good stuff is?”

“You’re crazy.” I was smiling as I said it and probably just as insane for hoping this thing we’d started had any chance of working. Both of us were zero-for-one when it came to relationships. On top of that, we’d only started this as a one-night stand. Add the cancer to that mix, and it was clear the odds were stacked against us.

Yet there was a piece of me that wanted to ignore all of the warning signs. Jump off the deep end and say fuck it on the way down. I tamped down on the urge. I couldn’t afford to be swept off into a fairy tale.