Page 62 of Arctic Titans of Northwood U: Volume 2

“Of course you will,” Tyler said with a cheery smile. “We’ll go there together after we have lunch and play a couple of matches in the den.”

“Ty,” I said softly.

There was no interrupting him. “I already made the plan. You better start sipping that coffee, dude.”

I did as I was told, but that didn’t mean I agreed with the rest. Coffee helped put the gears in motion in my brain, so I sniffed and looked at my friend. “I’d still like to stay in today. Let’s not pretend we don’t know what happened.”

“Let’s not,” Tyler agreed. “Let’s take it by the balls and tell it to fuck off. You’re above this, Sebastian.”

I snorted. Right now, I felt lower than a slug. I felt like I was rolling in the dirt. Disgusting, unloveable, pathetic. “Can’t I just lick my wounds for one day?”

“Absolutely not,” Tyler said. He softened his voice and dropped his feet from his desk. He leaned in, crossing his arms where his legs had just been, and looked into my eyes. “I know it feels like you lost her, Sebastian. But you have to believe me, if that’s how she treats good guys, you lost nothing at all.”

He didn’t get it. Even if the real person was cold-hearted, I lost the idea of her. I lost the thing I cared about. And my self-esteem went with it.

“I don’t mean to push you too hard,” he said. “I just need you to trust me. Just a little.”

I trust you with my life, I thought. It was hard to speak over the thickening knot in my throat.

“This is what’s best for you, Sebastian. The shock will wear off and you’ll be glad that you’re out of that snake nest. But until then, I won’t let you fall into the trap of self-pity. Or, worse yet, to start idealizing her, justifying her, and thinking how you could change to suit her better. I’ve seen you do it, man.” He wore infinite compassion on his face. His chestnut eyes were warm and kind as ever. His light brown locks were extra wavy and messy from sleeping. “Do what I tell you. I’ll make it all better. I promise.”

And I believed him. He was absolutely right. I had gone through the mental gymnastics of justifying and glorifying my ex-girlfriends in the past. I had attempted to change myself and everything around me depending on the whims of those who didn’t want me. And I easily fell into the trap of wallowing in despair.

If anyone knew it as well as I did, it was Tyler. He had pulled me back from the brink more times than I could count.

So, for the rest of the day, my activities were decided for me. We had coffee, then a light breakfast. We walked for a time instead of going straight to the campus gym, letting the breakfast settle a bit. The trees were bare. Some evergreens towered tall over us, their branches weighed down with thick lumps of snow. The world was asleep. There was nothing I wanted more than a cozy little room and someone to hold.

“What are you thinking about?” Tyler asked as he nudged me gently.

I shook my head. “How I keep falling for the wrong people.”

He sucked his teeth. “You’re doing it again, Sebastian,” he said.

“Doing what?” I blinked against a cool gust of wind.

Tyler threw his arm over my shoulders as we strolled down the path through the heart of the campus. “You’re making it your fault. The way ‘you fall’ for the wrong ones. In truth, they keep betraying you.”

“Same difference,” I said. “Besides, if all the girls I date end up hurting me, maybe there is something wrong with me.”

“Shitty luck,” Tyler said.

“An easy excuse,” I countered. “Am I drawn to those that will hurt me?” I didn’t want to believe it, but it was a legitimate question.

“Not at all,” Tyler said. “Amy hadn’t hurt you. You just…drifted.”

“And she told me she would rather be single than waste her time on me,” I said. Fuck. I made myself seem as pathetic as I felt. “But really, it’s Jennifer. I thought I was doing everything right. I had no idea she was so unhappy.”

“She makes herself unhappy,” Tyler said. “Do you think she’ll build a life with that ox?”

I couldn’t help it. A bitter laugh broke out of me. “If she does, it won’t be a happy one.”

“I know girls like that,” Tyler said. Our pace was picking up as the cold air bit our butts and made us long for warmth, even if it was at a gym. “They were their daddies’ favorite, never hearing a ‘no,’ always getting their way. They don’t know what a bad thing is. They don’t know what it means to struggle. And what did Jennifer do? She pulled problems out of her ass.”

I hated that a small part of me wanted to argue on her behalf. I hated that something in me was still protective of Jennifer even when my best friend painted the truth for me.

It was good that we were going to work out. I hadn’t realized how much anger I was carrying until I started punching the speed button on the treadmill. When I pushed it to eight miles per hour, Tyler’s gaze was darting in my direction. We ran and ran and ran until sweat was dripping off my body, but my stamina was far from exhausted.

The second part of the workout took us well over an hour and a half. We lifted weights, focusing on our torsos today, and I pushed myself to the brink of collapse. Every growl and grunt that left me brought me a sliver of peace somewhere deep inside my chest. My pecs seared as I lifted the heavy bar, my triceps screaming with pain.