Page 83 of Bruised

I squirm in discomfort. “More like… the other way around.”

“He told you how he feels, and you shut him down?”

I wince. “Pretty much.”

“Well. I can’t say I’m surprised.”

“It’s fine, though. He’s better off.”

“Better off without you?”

“Yeah. With someone else. Someone better.”

Tess scoots closer and lays a hand on my arm. “Hey. You think I’ve forgotten what you did? How you saved me?”

I close my eyes.

Blood splattering the pavement.

A voice screaming “stop!”

“I know what kind of guy you are, Mason,” Tess continues.

“Yeah?” I ask in a thick voice. “And what kind is that?”

“A good one.”

“Lane wouldn’t agree.” I wouldn’t agree.

“Well, that’s because you haven’t shown him who you are yet.”

I fidget uncomfortably, trying to come up with some kind of humorous deflection, a sarcastic way out, but it doesn’t come. It doesn’t work. Something inside me has softened, and I’m not sure how to harden it back up.

Tess doesn’t help. She’d have me crying in her lap if I let her.

“Hey, how about this?” she says, perking up. “You pretend I’m Lane, and you tell me what you’d like to tell him.”

I huff out a laugh. “No way.”

“Come on! It’s nothing serious. Just for fun, like you said.”

“But this isn’t fun.” This is terrifying.

“Opening up to someone can be ‘fun’ if you let it, or at least it can lead to something fun. If the other person feels the same way, that is. And you know Lane does, don’t you? So just humor me here for a second. What would you say if he were here right now?”

“I would…” I sigh, shoulders slumping. “I’d want to touch him.”

“Okay, but what would you want to say to him?”

“Um…” I’ve lost all ability to speak, but then… Oh! “I’m sorry. I’d say I’m sorry.”

Tess nods encouragingly. “Okay, that’s good. What else?”

“Um… That I guess… When you asked me what would happen with us when Oliver leaves, I sort of freaked out.”

“Yes?” Tess gestures for me to continue.

“Because I don’t want to let you go, but I don’t know how to be with you any other way than how we are now.”