Page 22 of A Highlander for the English Widow

She placed her hand on his chest and could feel the tremors of his heart underneath her palm. She cringed inside that she was denying herself the rampant pleasure that was so immediate and so available to her, but deep down she knew it was the right decision.

“Is something wrong?” Logan asked, but then silent understanding passed across his face.

He nodded and then took a deep breath, calming himself down. Again, this was in sharp contrast to Hamilton, who had pretended to be oblivious to Amanda’s pleas to wait. Logan calmed himself and then brushed a few errant strands of hair away.

“I understand,” he said, and then kissed her again. “I would like ye tae stay here anyway, even if we just hold each other.”

Amanda was comfortable enough in his arms to agree and found herself melting into the warmth. She nodded eagerly and smiled widely, and then closed her eyes as she settled into the warm bed. The mattress was firmer than she was used to, and after spending so many nights sleeping alone, it was strange to share a bed, but she fell asleep with a smile on her face anyway.

There was nowhere she would rather be.

15

Amanda awoke with a stretch and a yawn. It had been difficult to get to sleep at first, to get used to the presence of another. Logan had quirks of heavy breathing and deep snores that sounded like a giant’s rumbling bellow, but eventually she had fallen to sleep. In the morning she awoke before him and watched his chest rise and fall. The more she looked at him, the more impressed she was, and she felt a little foolish for having denied herself the pleasure of his body. The tight knot had not been loosened within, but she knew that it had been the right decision.

Now, more than with Hamilton, she was angry at her body for being cursed with the inability to bear children because it was going to prevent her from being with this man. Logan was many things she desired, but she knew that she was not. With Hamilton, she wanted to do her wifely duty, but it was never to make Hamilton happy but rather to have a child herself so that she might enjoy some boon in life. With Logan it was different. She wanted to make him happy as well as herself, but she knew that he needed a child. He had lost one already, so his next marriage needed to be with a healthy woman in the prime of her life who would not fall victim to the rigors of childbirth.

Logan awoke not long after she did and smiled at her. She feigned a smile and pretended that she had nothing on her mind except pleasant thoughts. He kissed her lightly on the lips. She thought for a moment that she could get used to this before she remembered it would not last forever. He then began to get dressed.

“Where are you going?” she asked.

“I’m gaeing tae gather the men and ride tae see if we can gather any information on Bram. I cannae sit here for another day and wait. If I can track down some of the merchants, they might be willing tae share what they know with us. Merchants always know more, and one of them told me that Bram haes been active. Now that we know children are involved, they might hae more information,” he said.

Amanda nodded and said that it sounded like a good idea. While he was gone, she would spend time with Lillie and try to ease the girl’s concerns.

Amanda walked to Lillie’s room and found her eating breakfast. Lillie stiffened when she sensed the door opening but relaxed when she saw that it was Amanda.

“It’s only me. How are you feeling today? I’m sorry that I didn’t come by and see you yesterday. I thought you would like to get some rest.”

Lillie nodded. “I was sleeping for most of the day. Some of the things Deirdre gives me makes me sleepy as well. I’m feeling a wee bit better. I dinnae hae a headache any longer, although I still get a wee bit woozy when I try and stand up. Food helps.”

“Food always helps,” Amanda said, smiling warmly. She approached the bed and took a seat, glad to see that Lillie did not move away from her. “Did Deirdre tell you what’s going to happen?”

Lillie shook her head.

“Logan and I are going to return to my estate with you if you would like to come with us. It’s still safe, I promise. Then we’re going to try and find out more information about Bram MacGavin. If we can find out where he took you, then we can rescue the children, including your sister.”

Lillie’s face lit up at this.

“Dae ye think it’s possible?!” she asked with a gasp.

“I believe so. Logan has already gathered his men. All we need to do is know where he is, and then you shall be reunited with your sister. You must miss her.”

Lillie nodded, and her head drooped. A somber look came upon her face.

“I tried sae hard tae protect her. But Bram still haes her. I hope I see her again. She’s only wee…”

Amanda’s heart was filled with concern again.

“Lillie, may I ask what happened to your parents?”

Lillie pursed her lips and then shrugged. “Da got ill and died. Ma waited for a while, and then she told me that she haed tae leave because she could nae afford tae live where we were living. She then left us with some coin and bread and told us that we haed tae find a job somewhere. The bread didnae last long. Neither did the coin. People dinnae want tae hire two runts like us. But then one day this man approached us. He said he could give us some food if we ran a wee errand for him. It was only taking a package tae someone waiting in the forest. Then we went back and we haed the best meal we’d haed in ages. It seemed good at the start. And then…” she trailed away.

Amanda could see the haunted look in her eyes, and her heart was filled with pity. She reached out and took Lillie’s hand, squeezing it gently. Lillie seemed to appreciate the gesture, although she did not allow her hand to linger in Amanda’s palm.

“Well, let’s talk about something different, something a little more cheerful. Do you know of my estate?”

Lille nodded. “The big house.”