Page 12 of A Highlander for the English Widow

Amanda looked at him with great sympathy. “You will take care of them just as you took care of the girl today—with all your heart. I’m sure that you will be a great laird and that the clan does not have anything to worry about with you leading them. I know that everyone will be grateful for your leadership. I don’t mean to pry too deeply into matters with your family, but do they know how troubled you are by what happened?”

Logan went rigid at the thought of revealing the truth to them. He was the pillar of the clan, the one who had to hold it all together. His brothers were ignorant of the severity of the situation, while his mother was willingly pushing herself into a world of a hazy wine-soaked fantasy, while his father was fighting valiantly but only had so much strength.

“I cannae,” Logan said. “They already hae tae much tae deal with. If they knew I was suffering with this…well, they would nae be able tae help me anyway.”

Amanda turned to him and looked at him earnestly.

“It’s not right that you should suffer alone. Nobody should,” she said, and as their gazes met, Logan felt tension rise within him. Her eyes were beguiling, and he felt his breath deepening.

“Thank ye, Amanda. It haes been a pleasure tae hae ye with me taeday. I hae found it quite refreshing tae speak with ye. I often find it difficult tae speak with people about this thing. As a future laird, I am supposed tae be strong.”

“Even the strongest of us need a sympathetic shoulder now and again,” Amanda said with a sweet smile. “If you ever need a conversation like this, then you know where I am, but I think for now I should go and rest. I have a feeling I’ll need to be at my best tomorrow for our little friend,” she said, and excused herself.

Logan rose as well but found himself disappointed that Amanda was leaving for the evening. He could have easily spoken to her all night. He watched her slip out of the door and then sank back into his chair, reaching over to pick up another chicken leg. As he gnawed on the meat, he thought about life and how different people made strange decisions. He couldn’t quite understand why Amanda’s husband had pushed her all the way toward the Highlands when she was such delightful company, but he also did not want to be so rude as to ask her about it. He would have to wait for her to volunteer the information, he supposed. After she left, he was alone with the ghosts of the evening to keep him company and his solemn memories to play on his mind.

Eventually he roused himself and walked upstairs to go and check on his father, who was in bed. He was sleeping alone. Caitlin said that his coughing and his fever were too much for her to bear. The pale light of the moon shone upon him and cast him in an ethereal glow, almost as though he was dead already. Logan walked in and touched his father’s shoulder, afraid that this would be the moment when he learned that Hamish was dead. But then Hamish stirred. He opened his eyes into narrow cracks and smiled when he saw his son.

“How are ye feeling, Da?” Logan asked in a quiet voice.

“Well, Son, well. Dinner was nice. It was sae nice tae hae a guest again. There needs tae be more like this. There needs tae be another presence here, a presence for ye. Ye hae been waiting tae long, lad. Ye need tae look forward, tae look tae the future. Just think of the possibilities. Promise me ye will think…” he said, trailing off into a whisper as his voice lost strength and he surrendered to slumber once again.

Logan was left with a thoughtful look on his face. He returned to his own bed and wondered how he could ever put another woman through what his wife had been through. Hadn’t Amanda suffered enough with her own husband? As much as he felt attracted to her, he could not allow his feelings to get the better of him. As laird, he would have to make sacrifices sometimes, as painful as it was.

9

Amanda awoke after a deep slumber. She was roused by the sound of someone moving about in her chamber and felt self-conscious. She jerked up and cast her gaze around the room, wondering if some servant had made a mistake and not realized that the room was occupied.

“Oh, ye are awake, finally,” Ann said.

Amanda blinked, rubbed her eyes, and then looked around to make sure that she was actually sure of her surroundings. Yes, she was in Logan’s keep, and she had not been dreaming.

“What are you doing here, Ann?” she asked.

Ann was busy laying out some clothes for the day and arranging some trinkets like jewelry out on the bed, as well as putting out a hairbrush, which Amanda was grateful to see. Ann turned and put her hands on her hips, scowling.

“I came as soon as I was able. What are ye thinking spending the night in the keep here without any warning?”

“I did send word back.”

“Aye, word, some messenger who didnae know his arm from his elbow! I hae never known ye tae act like this. What haes gotten intae ye? Are ye really gaeing tae let yerself be charmed by the laird’s son?”

Amanda swung her legs out of bed. “It’s not what you think at all. I happened to bump into Logan at the market yesterday, and as we were walking along, we heard a cry from an alley. There happened to be a child, a small girl, in some distress. She would not speak, and she had been wounded so badly she was bleeding. We had no choice but to come to a healer, and Logan said he had one in his keep. Unfortunately the child would not leave without me, and I thought it best that I stay so that I am here when she wakes up.”

“Hmm, well, one of these days ye putting yerself in harm’s way is gaeing tae get ye in trouble.”

“I am hardly taking a risk. The girl needed help and I was not about to turn my back on her. How is your niece, by the way?” Amanda asked pointedly, as if to remind Ann that this girl was not the first one she had cared for.

“She’s fine,” Ann grumbled, and then sighed. “I just dinnae like ye gaeing off like this. I’m nae used tae it. I like order and routine.”

“I don’t think there’s any harm in trying to change things. Besides, I have made a new friend.”

“Oh aye?” Ann said.

“Yes. Logan is a fine man, and it’s clear he has a grand sense of responsibility for the clan. In fact, I think it’s a shame that I have never made his acquaintance before.”

“Oh aye, I’m sure yer husband would hae loved tae hear about ye taking walks with the laird’s son, and I dinnae think people would hae thought of him well for inviting a married woman tae his keep. If ye wanted tae begin another war between Scotland and England, well, they hae clashed for less,” Ann said.

Amanda did not think her movements would cause so much attention to cause a war, nor did she think Hamilton would have minded. He didn’t care for much of what she did, but she was not going to argue the point.