Page 62 of When In Doubt

“Still on standby.” Most of the crew are trained in wildfire response, and we act as reserves for the bigger units that tend to handle things first.

“Alright. We’ll keep on with business as usual.”

“I’ll keep you updated.” Mack surveys the scene, seeing a few of the crew recoiling our line bags and Ryan finishing checks on his breathing gear. Everyone’s fallen into the rhythm that only comes with experience, days on end of this exact routine. He gives me a hard pat to my shoulder blade. “Great work, Murph.”

I nod in response, standing to take my gear back in. Mack follows me and I see him scratching his bicep the way he always does when he’s got something to say. When I turn to face him, I see his smirk.

“So. You have a good time in Denver?”

I sigh, rolling my eyes. I wouldn’t have even mentioned the trip to him, except that I had to switch a shift to make it work. “Jesus Christ.”

“What?” He’s practically giggling. “I never knew you had such a passion for knitting.”

“Piss off.”

“Seriously, though, I think it’s great. She seems like a sweet girl.”

“She is.”

“And are you two…”

“We’re not anything.” Maybe that could have been different, but I just had to jump the gun.

He raises an eyebrow, his smile just about visible under his mustache. “Nothing, or nothing yet?”

“It’s complicated.” I check the pockets on my jacket as I hang it up, making sure everything I need is in them.

“In what way?”

I look up at him. “I asked her out and she said no.”

“Shit.”

I huff out a bitter laugh. “Shit is right.”

“She say why?”

I’m not sure how much I should divulge. It isn’t my place to speculate, but I need someone to tell me what the fuck I’m supposed to do. I shrug. “Just that she couldn’t.”

I can practically hear his thoughts spinning. “Something going on there?”

I sigh. “Probably.”

“What do you think it is?”

I think back on my interactions with her. How she won’t let herself be upset with me, how she can’t ever seem to ask for what she wants. The way she keeps herself tucked away in her shop, isolated from the whole town. It’s beyond someone just being shy.

“I don’t know.” I stand and lean against the wall. Mack takes a half step closer, angling himself towards me so we won’t be overheard. “But something’s spooked her.”

He lets out a low grumble that sums up everything I’m feeling pretty well. It would be one thing if she just wasn’t into me. I can take a hint. But my gut’s telling me she’s too scared to try, and that’s what’s fucking bothering me.

“You’re serious about her.” It’s not a question, he knows me well enough to have the answer figured out by now.

My silence in answer enough.

“Then, what are you gonna do about it?”

“What is there to do? I can’t force her.”