Page 142 of Rock Me

But hers… is perfection.

Her fingers press down, making the notes as she grins at me. And then she starts to sing.

And it takes my breath away.

But now’s not the time to asphyxiate. I pick up my cello and she watches me, still playing, the crowd confused but slowly gaining in sound, getting into the performance. I lift my bow, perpendicular to the strings and I pull. And we’re in it together.

I never take my eyes off hers, as our instruments dance to the end of the song.

Her gentle strumming, note by note, against the deep, resonant tone of my cello.

We end at the same time. And there’s silence.

I drop my bow onto the ground as she lets her arm fall, her ukulele clattering to the stage floor.

“I was… I was coming to find you,” I tell her, though it all sounds redundant.

“I know. I heard,” she smiles.

“What are you doing here?”

“I had something to return to you,” she says, nodding toward the stage wings.

Someone comes running out and hands her a jacket.

Oh my god.

She holds it out to me. “I think this is yours. Actually, I know it is.”

It’s my jacket, the leather jacket I’d given her that night to keep warm.

I’d forgotten about that. But she remembers.

“You know?”

“Yes. I know. I know it all. I remember it all, Jez.”

I reach out, like a zombie, taking the jacket from her, as a million thoughts flood my brain, none of them making traction.

All I can think is, she’s here.

“I know that you saved my phone from a urinary death. I know that you saved me from being stomped on by a thousand drunken bar goers. I know you are a cake thief. I know you know why I love the word Autumn. I know I didn’t tell you where I work and you must’ve cared enough to find out to come looking for me. I know that more than anything, I wanted you to kiss me that night. I know that I was wrong to push you away. But if I hadn’t, I might not know what I know now.”

“And what is that?” I hold my breath, in case I accidentally exhale too hard and blow this whisper of a dream away.

“That nobody knows me like you know me. And nobody ever will.” Why is she smiling like that? So big and bright, it’s making it hard for me to think.

I fidget with the jacket. I might’ve been ready to run out of here to find her, but I knew I had some time to think about what I wanted to say. Right now, it’s all still a jumble of thoughts. Everything but that one thought. That three-word phrase.

“And what about how I feel about you? What do you know about that?”

“That that is something you need to tell me, Jez. Right here, right now. Not in writing, not in song. Just to me, face to face.”

I turn around, taking in everything around me.

My three best friends, grinning so hard I’m afraid their faces might split clear in two. The fucking bastards. They knew. They knew this was going to happen all along.

I look out into the cheering, shouting, stomping crowd, who has no idea what’s going on, just that they’re glad to be a part of it.