Page 139 of Rock Me

He grins, and reaches over and slaps me on the shoulder.

“It’s all yours, Willy Whacker.”

“Thanks, Fuck Ferret.”

“That’s a new one! I like it.”

“Thought you would, I’ve been saving it just for you.”

There’s a knock on the door. We file out of the room and it’s a rare moment of seriousness.

It’s been a long time and I know I’m not the only one wondering what the reception will be like. We only know that we’re lucky to have had the success we’ve enjoyed until now. Nothing is a given. And nothing is to be taken for granted.

As we walk through the underground path up to the stage wings, the roars from the crowd grow.

“Rock Chamber Boys! Rock Chamber Boys!”

Sebastian turns around and gives me a grin.

Marius slaps me on the back from behind.

Our footsteps quicken and before I know it, we’re practically sprinting to the end of the hallway that will lead up to our fate.

“FUCKKKKKKK YEAHHHHHHHHHH!” I scream as I take those last few steps, clearing out the last of any cobwebs that have lingered after my forced hiatus.

My head is crystal clear.

And I know what I wasn’t sure of until this very moment – I am ready.

We climb up the stairs and are led through to the dark backstage area, then stand in the wings waiting for our cue. There’s no point in talking, the screams and shouts from the waiting crowd drown out all other noise.

I’m jumping from leg to leg.

“GO!” Our stage manager yells and pushes us out from behind the wings.

It’s completely pitch dark. Tiny little LED lights on the stage that only we can see tell us where to stand.

I locate my cello and bow by feel. Pressing my ear close to the strings, giving the tuning one last check, I feel my hands shake again. But I know, it’s not because of the injury.

It’s because of the adrenalin.

It’s back.

I’ve missed it.

The sound from the audience grows in volume and passion. I’ve missed them too. Even though it’s dark, I close my eyes and try to visualize the space around me, the people, friends and strangers, and the music.

But all I can see is her face. We’re in Paris tonight. We talked about where our first concert should be, and this is the only place that felt right. And it would be perfect, if only she were out there.

I feel the guys settle down around me.

It’s time.

There’s a bright flash of light, our signature signal that the show is about to start. The crowd screams and then goes silent. I count us down, under my breath. And pull my bow.

The single note rings true and clear, growing stronger and stronger, as an ambient white light glows, bright and brighter, bathing us all.

I wanted it this way.