Page 95 of Strum Me

“Did you mean it…that you always meant to bring me here.?”

“Never meant anything more.”

“Bet you didn’t plan on there being a Ben though.”

“No, but it doesn’t change anything…except we might need to build a wall.”

“Really?”

“Well, yeah, I intend on devouring you on a regular basis. That’s not compatible with Ben sleeping in the same bed.”

“No, I mean…really, it doesn’t change anything?”

“What doesn’t change anything?”

“Me having Ben.”

“I don’t know what you mean.”

“You really don’t, do you?”

“No. And now you’re making me feel dumb.”

“I mean, me having Ben, it doesn’t change how you feel? About me, about wanting to be with me?”

“You’re kidding me, right?” He pulls away and his eyes search mine.

“Kidding how?”

“Oh, God, now you’re the dumb one,” he says and I poke him hard in the stomach. “Ow! I just mean, that’s a silly question. You don’t know how I feel about Ben? Really?”

“I guess…”

“I love that little bugger like he was my own. I love him because he’s just like you. And if you weren’t his mother, I would love him just as much. I just wish he were mine.”

I don’t know what to say.

So I don’t sully the moment with words. I just curl up in his lap, the safest place in the world, and wish I never, ever have to leave.

***

“It’s your phone,” I say to Brad an hour later. We’ve both emerged from the joint shower, and I’m trying to find something in his closet that doesn’t scream “I left in the middle of the night in a nightie for a sex marathon.”

“Thanks, babe,” he says, walking past me, but not before landing a loud smack on my ass.

“Hey!”

“Shush, I’m on the phone, can’t you see?” he teases.

“Ittttt’s Brad!” he jokes into the phone.

His face immediately turns serious. “Whoa, whoa, whoa. Slow down. What’s going on?”

His eyes flick to me, and I try not to panic. Unsuccessfully.

“What is it? Is Ben okay?” I whisper to him.

He nods and presses his fingers to his lips, quietening me, listening to the words coming at him a mile a minute over the phone.