Page 54 of I’ll Be Home for Christmas

‘Strong and stubborn.’ She wiped at a tear which strayed down her cheek. ‘Meg reached out to me enough times, but I didn’t want to know, I didn’t trust that she wouldn’t hurt me again in some way. And I’ve had enough of being hurt.’

‘Let me take Nanna and Grumps the tea and biscuits and I’ll come right back. Okay?’ When her mum nodded, she filled two mugs, topped them with milk, added sugar and took them into the lounge.

Grumps was watching the phone, waiting for it to ring. Nanna apologised that she hadn’t been the one to sort the tea and biscuits.

‘I can’t sit here feeling so useless,’ said Nanna, who was always better busy in the kitchen.

Sarah got down on her haunches. ‘You’re not useless.’ And she tilted a head towards Grumps.

Nanna nodded and moved closer to her husband. Her husband needed her right now and this wasn’t the time to hide behind cooking or looking after everyone else, even if it helped.

She left her grandparents and went back to where her mum hadn’t moved an inch from her spot, looking out of the back window in the kitchen.

‘Mum, have a biscuit,’ Sarah urged.

‘No, I’m not hungry.’

‘You have to eat something.’

Chrissie turned briefly and smiled. ‘I’m still full from the cheese.’

‘Actually, so am I.’ She stood next to her mum. ‘Should I go and see if Jonathan has come back yet?’

‘No, he’ll come here, I’m sure. Or he’ll call. Don’t go outside, Sarah.’

‘Okay.’ It felt like a good time to share something about her dad with her mum, if only to take her mind off Meg. ‘Jonathan told me about him and Dad making the sledge. It sounds like they worked well together.’

‘That’s nice.’

‘I like hearing about Dad from someone else.’

‘I’m glad. Jonathan is a good man, by the sounds of it. He must be to offer up a room to Meg.’ She looked across at Sarah. ‘I mean nothing mean-spirited by that comment, I promise you.’

‘I know that, Mum. You don’t have to tell me.’

She paused. ‘You and Meg seem to get on well.’

‘Mum—’

‘Again, I’m not saying it to be mean, or jealous. I’m merely making an observation.’

‘We went to a chocolate shop in town one day.’

‘Not the place where she used to work?’ She smiled.

‘We ate a lot of chocolate.’

Chrissie laughed. ‘I’ll bet you did. Some things never change.’

‘I think Meg probably has.’

Chrissie looked at her daughter. ‘Maybe she has.’

Sarah grappled with the right words. ‘Mum, you fix everything for me, or at least you try to. What I don’t understand is why you don’t seem to want to jump in and fix whatever happened between you and Auntie Meg.’

‘I struggled to believe she’d changed. But I did try to talk to her – once, after your dad’s funeral, at the wake. And… well, it didn’t end quite how I expected. That day I saw the Meg I knew, the Meg I remembered, the Meg who wasn’t the girl my sister once was. That was it for me. That day she made things even worse.’

‘What did she do that was so awful?’