Page 23 of I’ll Be Home for Christmas

Siobhan did her best to cheer Meg up after Chrissie left that weekend, which generally involved getting wasted and smoking joints, and it got worse when Chrissie announced her engagement. Booze and pot were the only things that dulled the reality that she’d let her sister down, that Chrissie was doing something she might well regret. And then Meg had picked the worst moment to try one final time to convince Chrissie that going through with the wedding was a mistake.

Chrissie stopped talking to her altogether after her wedding day and Meg found solace back in London with Siobhan and a bottle of gin. She did her best to dull the ache of the divide between her and Chrissie, the shame of her mistake, the grieving for the relationship she’d once had with her sister. She’d carried on like that for weeks. She was coping, but the night she got back to the flat after a shift at the seedy bar where she’d found more work and saw Siobhan and a stranger dividing up cocaine on the coffee table in the lounge, Meg had gone into her room and pushed a cabinet against the door.

That night she hadn’t slept. She’d stayed awake. What had happened to her life? She should have been studying right now, working towards a future, and instead she’d fallen into this routine that was slowly dragging her under. And she’d lost the one person who mattered the most to her. Chrissie.

Chrissie had been right to be disappointed. Because Meg was disappointed in herself.

She stepped outside the chalet. It had snowed overnight, but once again the snow had been shovelled and the path was gritted.

She’d just turned onto the pavement out front when she spotted Jonathan pulling out of his driveway.

He wound down his window and she walked over. ‘Do you need a ride?’ he asked.

She’d thought he was hot, if not a little brooding, when they’d spied on him from the lounge window the other day, but up close he almost took her breath away. And his smile suggested he was a lot friendlier than she’d realised. She’d seen him on and off over the years but never to exchange more than a wave from a distance.

Meg managed to make her mouth work. ‘I’m Meg.’

‘I know who you are. I don’t exactly go around offering rides to strangers.’

‘No, I don’t suppose you do.’

‘So… do you need a ride?’ he asked again.

She grinned. ‘That would defeat the point of my going out for a walk.’

‘Gotcha. Enjoy the walk.’ He raised the window again and went on his way.

She walked down into the town and beyond. On the hills, tree boughs strained under the weight of last night’s snowfall. Some paths were ungroomed, others too icy to follow.

She picked one that was passable with plenty of people venturing in both directions.

It was just so incredibly beautiful here, and liberating. If anything, it felt good to slow down with this visit, not be rushing in and rushing out of town like she usually did.

A couple of young girls ran past her, hand in hand, ski suits on, laughing their heads off as they headed for the town. It had been years since she and Chrissie had been together like that, full of fun, with a sense of adventure. The part of her life she’d shared with her sister was gone and she hated that she’d never get it back. Not even a sliver of it.

Being out here in the fresh, crisp air enabled good thinking time. She thought about Sarah, her sister’s daughter. She’d done her best to keep her distance, knowing that was what Chrissie would want, but it was difficult at dinnertime. Last night, in an attempt to avoid any more talk of The Cocoa Cupboard after the chocolates she’d brought over had done the rounds, Meg had claimed she needed an early night. She hadn’t wanted to go to bed at all. She’d wished she could go back downstairs and join in with conversation again. She wished she’d been able to get to know Sarah when she still worked at The Cocoa Cupboard, when she could be proud and tell her niece all about it, invite her to see it for herself and try all the chocolate she wanted. She imagined doing the same for Chrissie too. But sadly, Chrissie was out of her life, and so was The Cocoa Cupboard.

She had a decent pair of snow boots on for her walk, but she’d forgotten what it felt like to trudge through deep snow. It took it out of you, like walking through soft sand on a beach. By the time she’d looped back round to the main street her legs were shaking from the exertion, and she still had the climb up the hilly road to reach the chalet to go.

When Jonathan pulled up alongside her and offered her a ride this time she accepted without hesitation.

She pulled on her seatbelt. ‘You timed it right.’

‘Glad to be of service.’ His gaze floated to the clock. ‘You’ve been out for a while.’

‘I couldn’t help myself. It’s such a beautiful town.’ She tried to ignore the large hand as he reached out and hit cancel on his satnav. Manly, strong… He had a presence, that was for sure. He was tall and attractive with dark stubble across his chin that continued along his jaw and above his top lip. How had she never noticed Jonathan properly until this visit?

Because she’d had a life, that was why. She’d been busy with a great job that she loved, a partner, a whole other existence in London.

She shivered and when she turned she realised it was because the seats in the back were folded down to accommodate long lengths of wood which extended into the open trunk bed. ‘What are you making?’

He faced her briefly and there was that smile that reached his eyes again. ‘A log store. The one my parents had has seen better days and needs replacing.’

The mention of parents prompted her to thank him. ‘Thank you for helping Mum and Dad out so much.’

‘Hey, it’s no trouble.’ He looked almost embarrassed at the gratitude. It was an endearing quality in a man.

‘I’m not sure either of them would manage doing the paths twice a day.’