Page 194 of Ashborne: Defiance

“Bren?” I asked in a voice much more shrill than I’d intended.

Voski frowned. “She hasn’t been through this, that I know of. But I know she wants to help you. Only this kind of thing eats you up unless you hear reassurance from someone who’s been through it. I’ve learned, we don’t always tell ourselves the truth about it. So, come to me. Or Ronen. Or Gil. Even Einar, or Jhoare. Any of us can help.”

I swallowed. “Thank you.”

We both stared. He let go of my chin, but I was locked in that gaze—his eyes so dark they looked black in the dim, morning light that filtered through the gaps in the slats.

I didn’t want him to leave. I didn’t want to leave. But he must be ready to get back to his life?

I stared into his eyes, each moment telling myself that I needed to break that gaze. To look away. To move away. But I couldn’t.

He stared back, his expression strange. Suddenly, he blinked, then jerkily scooted himself off the end of the bed.

“Sorry, sorry,” he said like I’d chastised him. “Of course, you need to get dressed. I’ll go down. I’ll wait for you. We can get breakfast. Food will help. Anything normal—that’s what you should focus on today. Do normal things. With normal people. Anyone who can smile. But don’t pretend. If you’re struggling, come find me, or Gil, or Ronen.”

“Did you tell them?” I gasped.

“No, no!” he stood at the end of the bed now, and raised his palms to reassure me. “No, they don’t know. But you can trust them. And if you tell them, they won’t judge.”

“Voski, I murdered a man. They should judge.”

His expression grew stern then. He took the two strides around the bed to reach my side, then squatted down next to me, his expression grim. “You did no such thing.”

“He’s dead!” I hissed, my eyes stinging with unshed tears again.

He nodded once, but his expression went hard. “And if you hadn’t done what you did, I’d be dead, and you’d probably be dead—or worse. That isn’t murder, Grace. That’s self-defense. And even God allows that.”

I took a breath and turned away again, chewing that over. But he caught my chin and turned me back to face him. “Hear me. This is a moment in your life. A dark moment, to be sure. But it isn’t who you are. It’s something that happened to you. You showed skill, and instinct, and courage.”

“I wept like a baby.”

“I’ve done the same,” he said without shame. “And my dragon still chose me. And my brothers still stand by me. And now I’m standing by you. You did the right thing. It was him who was dark.”

I inhaled, then exhaled deeply. “Thank you.” I wasn’t sure I believed him, but having his eyes on me, his tone kind, and protective, helped. “Thank you, Voski.”

“I’m here. I’ll remain here. You are not alone. Do you hear me?”

I nodded.

“Good. Then I’ll go downstairs. You dress, then find me in Kham’s stable when you’re ready.”

To my shock, he leaned forward and laid a sweet kiss on my forehead, then he was on his feet, and down the ladder, leaving me there, with the blankets still gripped to my chest.

Gaping.

And my stomach bubbling again, with dread, and with dreadful hope.

67. Fresh Eyes

~ VOSKI ~

Grace stumbled through the day, but grew stronger with every step. As it should be. I found ways to remain close for the entire day—at least close enough for Koa to reach Kham and call us in if she got shaky again.

She had her moments, her wobbles. But she joined Bren on a flight—then took one of her own. She didn’t know that Kham and I shadowed them, remaining a mile back and unrecognizable to her eyes. But close enough to be called in if we were needed.

She was happier when they landed. The flying did her good. It did both of us good.

That evening, at the dining hall, I watched her from across the table and two seats down. She took the teasing of our brothers who thought she’d rushed home the night before because she’d drunk too much ale. Bren glanced at me, but I ignored her. I’d speak with her when we had a moment alone. I was too busy gauging the shadows passing behind Grace’s eyes when the brothers teased, but she blinked and hid it quickly, smiling and shrugging. Allowing them their jokes.