Page 193 of Ashborne: Defiance

I gaped at him.

He frowned. “Can you understand what I’m saying?”

I glared. “I’m embarrassed. Not stupid.”

His lips twitched up on one side and he looked so handsome and oh heavens he saw me with no clothes on and—

“Grace, please, don’t worry. We are… well, brothers-in-arms, I suppose. I have seen my brothers in every ignoble, humiliating, compromising position you can imagine—and then some. And they’ve all seen me in the same. You have nothing to worry about. This is what we do. When crisis hits, we stay close. We support. We help. We’re family.”

Everything he said was warming, comforting. Except that last word.

My feelings must have shown on my face, because he frowned. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, I’m very grateful. Of course I am. I was a horrid mess last night. Thank you for your help,” I hushed, bowing my head at him so I wouldn’t have to keep meeting his eyes. “I just didn’t expect this kindness and I’m not really sure…”

He grimaced and ran those long fingers through his hair, that was mussed and sticking out behind his ears and falling into his eyes. “Admittedly, I haven’t given you reason to expect that—so now, I’m sorry. But you need to know…”

I wasn’t quite looking at him. Had my head turned, but stared at the wall beyond his hip because I couldn’t meet his eyes. He trailed off and went quiet, and I frowned. Was he changing his mind?

I startled when his fingers gripped my chin and he turned me, forcing me to meet his solemn gaze.

“Listen to me. I understand. And others among our squad will as well, when the time is right to tell them. I’m here and willing to help. But if you’d rather speak with someone else, I know who to ask. Who’s been through this. If you don’t feel comfortable—”

“No, I do!” I gasped. “I need you!” Then I clapped a hand over my mouth, because this was precisely the thing that got me into trouble.

But Voski slumped, looking relieved, as if he’d been afraid I’d say otherwise.

That couldn’t be right. I wished I was better at reading men.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered. “I didn’t mean need you. I only meant—”

“You’re fine, Grace. I need you, as well.”

The words were stark, startling, so wholly unexpected, I locked eyes with him, speechless.

And he stared right back, a wary edge in his gaze. But he never turned. Didn’t back away or run.

“Wh-what did you say?” I breathed.

He cleared his throat, then swallowed audibly. But his eyes never left mine. “I couldn’t let you face that alone. Because I’ve been through it. And I’d never let anyone go through that without help.”

All the warm, fizzing feelings that had rushed around the edges of that sick dread, bubbled out of my chest, to my skin, to dissipate into the air.

He’d stayed on purpose. He wanted to help.

He would have done that for anyone.

Because we were all family.

My stomach twisted in protest, but I tried to smile. “Well, thank you. It was difficult. But easier to endure because you were here,” I said as properly as I could. He smiled and I tore my gaze from him to look around the room. “I need to get dressed. I need to harness Koa and…”

I could finally fly alone. And suddenly didn’t want to be alone at all.

All the lovely, warm feelings I’d had the day before—the excitement, the pride, the anticipation—had turned to cold rocks in my belly.

I slumped. I had passed the flight assessment, even when another man didn’t. I could ride Koa alone. I tried to conjure the anticipation I’d had the day before. I’d been so looking forward to this. But now it just felt—

Voski caught my chin again and turned me to face him, shaking his head. “The joy will come back, Grace,” he said quietly. “The fun. It hasn’t gone forever. But these other feelings, they’ll come back sometimes, too—and without warning. That’s normal, you understand? And when that happens, you should talk to me. Or, others if you’d feel more comfortable.”